WHAT HAPPENED TO THE SISTERHOOD?

 WHAT HAPPENED TO THE SISTERHOOD?

I have two siblings, my oldest was my brother Warren, the middle child was my sister Chrissy and I was the youngest. Growing up I was close to both my siblings and didn’t think that would ever change. My sister and I were typical sisters, we got along well like best friends, but sometimes we would fight (especially when we had to share a bedroom). My sister and I were always close, always remained in contact and never had a falling out.

                My sister moved to Victoria, Australia, got married and fostered children and we remained in touch. We would talk to each other regularly and every year I would fly down to Melbourne to visit her and occasionally every blue moon she would come up to visit us.

               My brother got along with my sister, but I think I was closer to my brother than my sister was. My brother was living in QLD in a caravan park, in the same place my Dad and Donna (stepmother) was staying but they didn’t live there for long. My sister went up there with her partner and something happened and my brother had the shits with her. I remember my brother telling us what happened. I vaguely remember the details but I do remember he was pissed off. My sister got to see him on my birthday which was just before he passed away, and they were both okay with each other at that time.

               My sister was always a bit rebellious growing up and sometimes would get into trouble but never for anything that involved criminal activity.

                My sister was always a compulsive liar which was frustrating at times. That was something she never outgrew. I didn’t understand why my sister needed to lie all the time, she did it when it was so unnecessary. When my sister did lie, I would give her the benefit of the doubt and I would believe her, and sadly I would find out later that she lied. I always forgave her after she lied, however, it didn’t stop her from lying and she would go on just to say another lie. She didn’t lie all the time though, and that’s why it confuses people and that’s why they believe her when she does lie. It’s difficult to be in a relationship with somebody who lies so much, but I spent my whole life getting along well with my sister, so I dealt with it. It’s just hard when you trust someone and want to trust someone, but you don’t know what the truth is anymore and whether they are white lies or large lies, they still hurt all the same.

               When she was a teenager she got involved with boys as normal teenage girls do and she moved out of home and moved to Mount Druitt into the home of Autumn’s friend to continue her schooling. My sister later got involved with this guy and they went to Victoria, and it was at this time he broke up with her and left her there. This is how my sister ended up in Victoria. She met this old guy who she got involved with named Jeff, this is the same man who had murdered his wife because she wanted to leave him (however my sister didn’t know that at the time). My sister was a young adult and he was an old man aged in his 60s or 70s (or older). Before we met him, my sister would write me letters and I still have a few of these letters from this time. My sister told us that Jeff was young, that he lived in a nice home and he was wealthy who bought her fur coats (all lies of course).

I went to Melbourne to stay with my sister, when I got off the aeroplane my sister was there waiting for me, she was standing next to this old man and a woman who was a midget. After telling me that her boyfriend Jeff was young (in his 20s) and all these other lies, I was introduced to an old man who was aged in his 60s or 70s. He also wasn’t wealthy; they were living in a villa. Jeff worked as a cook there in the kitchen (it was a money in hand job). My sister was on welfare benefits, but she also helped in the villa kitchen. My sister was able to get me a small room to stay in; it was like a small bedroom with a single bed in it and not much room for anything else.

I found out when I was there were allegations of my sister having relationships with two other men behind Jeff’s back and my sister denied it, but I do recall people calling her a ‘slut’ and one night my sister was screaming back at this group of people who lived there that she wasn’t having sex with them (the men they accused her of having sex with).

My sister’s boyfriend spent most of his spare time sitting in their room watching sport (he was a Carlton AFL fan), horror films and porn. My main memory of this time was the stench of cigarettes; the cigarette smell was strong and stuck on everything. As a non-smoker you do notice that smell more than a smoker would. I will never forget that smell, it was the worst cigarette smell I have ever smelt in my life. That smell was strong.

               At the time I didn’t know that my sister’s boyfriend Jeff was a murderer and my sister didn’t want to remain in a relationship with him, and wanted us to leave with one of the men she was having intimate relations with. I agreed to go with her as I had little choice and didn’t want to stay behind with that old guy. The guy she ran off with was younger and was in his late 30s or early 40s and he seemed a lot more decent. So my sister, her new boyfriend and I went to a caravan park to live. Those working at the caravan park looked at my sister with suspicion and they seemed concerned for me and the ladies who worked there were worried about me. I was young at the time, I think I was roughly around 15 to 16 (and back then I always looked younger than I actually was) they probably wondered what I was doing there. We were only there for a day or two before my sister dumped me and left me in the caravan park alone with her new boyfriend; and she returned to that old man. My sister completely abandoned me and I found myself alone in Victoria all by myself. It was an extremely scary time for me and I didn’t know what to do. I was left alone with my sister’s lover but he was a decent person and never did anything to me and even though he was depressed at the time,; he wanted to help me get home. He was pretty depressed and confused after what my sister did to him. The ladies who worked at the caravan park were also concerned for me and helped me by get in touch with my mother for me. My stepfather was a sales man for a company and they had sales reps all over the place, so he contacted one of them in Victoria and arranged for me to be picked up and drove me to the airport and I was flown back to Sydney. I was fortunate I had decent people around me at the time, who knows what would have happened to me otherwise.

                I didn’t hear from my sister for some time after that but she later got in touch with us again and never apologized for what she did but our friendship/sister relationship continued like it always had. My mum and I reasoned that she was young (she was a few years older than me), and she was going through a crazy stage in life and she always had that rebellious streak.

She told us that she broke up with that old man and ran off with his next door neighbour Darren. Darren was single and a similar age to her, and was decent enough. My sister and Darren got a house together and they were both happy.

                It wasn’t long after this we all discovered that the old man Jeff had gone to prison for murder, he had murdered his wife years before he got involved with my sister. His previous wife wanted to leave him, but he didn’t want her to leave so he strangled her with an iron cord. Jeff and his wife had children together and so they were left without a mother. Jeff then went on the run believing that the police would be suspicious of the disappearance of his wife, and started using a fake identity as well as working in money in hand jobs. After he killed his wife, he confessed the crime to his brother who helped bury her in some random spot. It was a while after this my sister got involved with Jeff, my sister told me that she had met his children and one of them told her that she should leave Jeff for her own safety, but she told me that she didn’t understand why he said that to her. My sister told me that she had no knowledge of what he had done to his wife. It was when she was with Darren that we all found out that Jeff was a murderer, it was on the Melbourne news as well as the newspapers. When I went up there to visit my sister, Darren’s sister had kept the newspaper article with the story in it; from what I can remember it was front page news and inside there was a two page article on him and his crime. His name was different and I said to my sister, “that’s not his name”, but obviously he was using a fake name. There were photos of him though, and we knew it was definitely him by the photos. It was Jeff’s brother who went to the police to tell them what his brother did to his wife; he said he couldn’t live with it on his conscious any longer. He attempted to show the police whereabouts where they buried her body, but after much time he couldn’t say exactly where her body was and the police didn’t look everywhere because apparently it was a big area and he was going by memory (they also buried her at night). Jeff confessed to murdering his wife. I don’t know what Jeff and his brother’s relationship was like after this, but because they couldn’t find her body Jeff only got three years in prison for murder. He would be out now, not sure if he’s still alive or not. It is good that I left Victoria when I did and it was good that my sister left him safely and had Darren to help her, she could of ended up the same way as his wife did. I still have a photo of Jeff with my sister, I don’t know why I kept it, he gives me the creeps.

Darren and my sister got married and I was a bridesmaid and that was the only time I have been a bridesmaid (I don’t know many people who’ve been married). She got married the same day we found out that Michael Hutchence from INXS had died. I remember at the reception that guests were requesting INXS songs all day/night. 

                Everyone got along okay with Darren; except for Dad and Donna who didn’t like him and called him a “wanker”. My sister would get upset that they didn’t like Darren but I said to my sister, “It doesn’t matter who you end up with, they are never going to like him.” I got along with Darren okay but he was old fashioned and I was more modern viewed than him, but apart from our difference in views we got along okay. Darren and Autumn got along well but they clashed a lot, Darren thought Autumn had bad manners and they could only associate with each other in small doses. We all had our differences but nothing major; we never had a falling out with him or anything like that. My sister always stuck up for Darren and always said she was happy with him and she wanted to be with him for the rest of her life and even got his name tattooed on her chest. They were together for years and years and my sister seemed settled down and appeared to be happy and matured. My sister is like me in the sense that we both love animals and she owned a thousand different pets when she was Darren, whenever I visited I felt like Snow White. Darren gave my sister whatever pet she wanted and there were always dogs, cats and birds.

                My sister always loved children and always wanted her own; she was clucky and decided to foster children. They fostered a number of children until they ended up with four children who they were trying to get custody of. I did make arrangements to fly down there to meet her children but this didn’t take place due to what happened next. We did get to see photos and mum said that one of the girls looked like my sister even though they weren’t biologically related. My sister and Darren were happy with the four children.

                My sister rang me up and told me they had gone to court and now the children are legally there’s, so I thought they had legally adopted them. I would fly down to Melbourne at least once a year to visit my sister, Darren and their children and I had arranged to do this and all the arrangements were made. We arranged it for a weekend; I paid for the ticket etc. However, my sister rang me out of the blue and told me I couldn’t visit them because she said that Darren and herself were going to court to gain custody of the children, and I said, “I thought you already had custody of them” and she said, “no, no no” and gave me some story. So I had to make arrangements to keep that ticket and change it for a different date, so I made a different date to go visit her and everything was prepared. So once again, my sister rang me up and told me another story that I couldn’t go down and gave me some story, so once again I had to hold onto the ticket and change the date. Once again my sister rang me with a different story for me to change it again and this is what was happening and left me in a state of confusion. I didn’t know at the time she was lying to me, I believed what she was telling me. So afterwards I decided to use the ticket to fly up to Queensland to visit Dad and Donna. I let my sister know when things work out I would just buy another ticket at a later date so I can visit her again, as flying down to Melbourne at the time wasn’t expensive.  We visited Dad and Donna, and were only up there for a weekend and a bit but at least I was able to use the ticket.

                Back in Sydney, out of the blue my sister rang my mother and myself and told us that she was leaving Darren and she was going to drive up to Sydney in her car and she was coming to stay with us. She asked if she could stay with us for a while and we were happy to have her there and got the spare bedroom ready for her.

She then rang us and told us that she was staying with this woman and her daughter for a while and she won’t stay with us. She said she met this woman over the internet. She said even though she is staying with this woman, she will visit us, have dinner and stay overnight.

My sister lied to us so much during this time, too many lies to mention. I don’t understand why she felt the need to lie to us but she did and she continued to do so. She was also lying to other people, which caused confusion for those in contact with her.

We arranged for her to come over for dinner and stay the night like she said she had wanted to do, but she rang us up at the last minute and told us that she wasn’t coming to Sydney and she was going to return to Darren and we supported her through this time, even though she continued to tell us little contradictive things. She lied so much it became so confusing and when someone is lying to you back and forth and non-stop it’s like trying to put a jigsaw puzzle together; you are trying to work out what is going on and make some sense of it. A lot of it wasn’t adding up.

She rang us up again and told us she was going to drive to Sydney in her car and stay with this woman and her daughter (child) and she wasn’t sure if she was going to leave Darren or not.

When she came to Sydney she rang us up and said she will come over and visit us and have dinner with us and stay over our house for the night and will return to this woman’s house the next day. She did come over so that part was true, and she started telling all these things that didn’t add up which conflicted and contradicted other things she was saying. I was standing there trying to make sense of it all, and asking her questions and saying, “but didn’t you say?…” and that sort of thing. My sister was sitting talking to us and she had two phones on her and told us that she got her new phone from Darren (that was true). When she was there she kept getting all these text messages coming through and she spent most of the time answering text messages. She told us that she couldn’t have dinner with us and had to go, even though she had just arrived. She seemed to be on edge and her new phone continued to send her a lot of text messages and she continued to sit there and respond to them all. It was obvious whoever was texting her, wanted her to leave and possibly didn’t want her with us. A car drove into the top of our driveway and she rang out the door and jumped into it and drove away. Before she left she told us it was the woman she was staying with was picking her up, we couldn’t see who was in the car properly because it was dark and because my sister left so fast. She told us quickly that she will come over again to visit and she would stay over longer next time, and we were like “okay cool” and then she was gone

                Darren rang up my mother and asked her if my sister was at our house and we said “no”, and Darren told us that she told him that she was staying at our house. This was when we found out that she was using us as her alibi. Darren said he found photographs of another man saved on their computer, a man who he knew and they were all photos of this man naked and also naked photos of my sister (which she had sent him). My sister knew how to use computers, but for some odd reason she didn’t delete the photos or delete her history, so Darren was able to find out more information of what was going on by what she had left behind on their computer. Darren told us that before my sister left him, that she was on the computer a lot and when he walked into the computer room, she would put the tab down quickly so he wouldn’t see it. He said he didn’t think much into it at the time.

Darren told us that he didn’t believe that she was going to return to him and he was at home looking after their four children. I found out from Darren that the court case my sister told me they were going to (when I had to change my plane flight), wasn’t actually true and they had already been to court and got custody of their kids some time before that. Well that is what I was told.

                This was a confusing time for all of us.

Darren said when she left him she didn’t say goodbye to him or the children, she dropped the kids off at school and that’s when she left.  

               My sister rang us up again and my mother told her that we knew the truth and we knew about this guy who she was seeing and she just wanted to hear the truth. My sister decided to come over for a visit again and once again didn’t stay long. She told us about the guy she was staying with but told us very little about him. This time, my sister also only could stay for a short time and even though this man was now in a relationship with my sister and would drop her off and pick her up, he never went out of his way to meet us which we thought was unusual. He was driving my sister all the way from Sydney (where he lived) to visit us (which is like a one hour drive one way), for her only to stay here for a short time, that was unusual. When my sister was at our house, she once again continued getting messages all the time, and she seemed nervous and jumpy. My sister told me that this guy she is staying with keeps messaging her all the time. We asked her what was going on but she told us very little and I’m sure there was more to it than we knew of. I accepted that my sister was leaving Darren; I’m not into people staying in relationships if they don’t want to be in them. We were more worried about whether she had a permanent place to stay and whether she was safe.

                My sister told us that she was staying with this guy Max in Sydney, and he also lived with a young girl who was around 12 to 13 years old (who wasn’t his daughter or a relative). I don’t know who this young girl was, but from the little information my sister gave us, apparently she was some neighbours kid who started living there (however, I’m not sure if this is true or not).

My sister told us that she had met him on the internet, even though Darren told us that he knew this man.

                She didn’t stay at our house for long, she continued to get message after message which meant she couldn’t relax and after that she got a message and told us that she had to go because he was in the driveway waiting for her. We could hear a horn going off all the time; he kept beeping his horn over and over again and was flashing his high beam at us when we walked to the front patio with her. My sister told us that she had to go and she would come over on the weekend and this time she would definitely have dinner with us and spend time with us. Max was sitting in his car in our driveway, we couldn’t see him properly because he had the high beam light on his car and this was at night, he kept flashing the lights on us over and over again and the light was going right into our eyes, it was evident that he was rushing my sister to get out the door.

I thought if he was in love with my sister and cared about her, he would at least want to introduce himself to us and want to meet us, but he didn’t. We said goodbye to my sister on the front patio and we hugged her goodbye and we were still on good terms, we assumed we would see her again, there was no reason (that we knew of) why we wouldn’t.

That was the last time we ever heard or saw my sister again. It was at this time she cut us off completely out of her life. We couldn’t get the truth because she wouldn’t tell the truth. So it’s still a mystery to me to this day.

I thought maybe one of the reasons why my sister could have stopped talking to us, was due to all the lies she’s been telling. My sister was lying so much, I believe there is a strong possibility that she was also lying to her new boyfriend Max as well as other people. Maybe she lied about Darren to him, maybe she lied about herself to him, and maybe she lied about us to him. I don’t know, I just have the gut feeling that she said something to someone, a lie, and because of this she may not want our paths to cross (Max and ours) and most likely covered it up with another lie and that could be the reason (or one of the reasons) why she stopped talking to us.

I was completely supportive of her leaving Darren and I didn’t understand why she cut me out of her life and not only that but lied and told people that we (my mother and I) cut her out of our lives. She continued with that lie for years and possibly is still sitting on that lie and hasn’t confessed to anybody that she had lied about that. I was really hurt by it. Just another betrayal in my life by someone I thought wouldn’t do me like that. I knew my sister liked to fib, but I didn’t think she would go that far, especially to do the dirty on me by lying about me.

               When she left with her boyfriend Max that night, before she walked out the front door she told us she would return to have dinner with us and we hugged and was excited about seeing her again and there was no bad air between us. We didn’t hear from her after that, however we had already made arrangements with her and we just assumed, even though we didn’t hear from her, we just thought she was still going to come over. We didn’t know at the time she had already cut us out of her life. When she didn’t turn up, we attempted over and over again to get in touch with her, we kept ringing her and leaving her messages, but she wouldn’t answer her phone and wouldn’t ring us back. I rang her and asked her to call us because we were wondering if you were still coming over tonight, and that was the messages we was leaving her, but we got nothing back, we were so confused and we didn’t know what was going on. We were going out of our way to contact her but she never replied and we didn’t hear from her again after that.

We did become concerned for her, I mean it was at this time she had left her husband Darren and got involved with a new guy Max and so we were genuinely worried because we didn’t know anything about this new guy. I was freaking out, however my sister didn’t cut everybody out of her life, there were still family members she was still in touch with, such as my dad, so that is how we knew she was still alive. If it wasn’t for her contacting my dad and a couple of other people in the family, we would have had to put out a missing persons report to the police.

               On the weekend when she didn’t turn up and didn’t reply to any of our messages, my mother and I were clearly confused. We were told by a family member that my sister was telling people in our family that it was us who cut her out of our life, which of course wasn’t true. We had no falling out with my sister at the time and were genuinely concerned for her wellbeing. When I found out I wasn’t angry but I was so upset and depressed. Not long after I found this out I was on my bed crying and just wanted to be alone, what my sister did to me completely devastated me. After everything I’ve been through, that time was one of the hardest times on me. It really rattled me at the time, I didn’t think she would ever do that to me, but she did.

I don’t think my sister will ever understand the devastation of what she did to me at that time, the pain she caused. I was always so close to my sister. At first and at that time I was really upset, crying and that sort of thing however as time went by, I was just disappointed with her, not only her but also with the people who believed her lies. That upset me as well, I wasn’t just betrayed by her but I also was betrayed by those who jumped to the conclusion that I did wrong to her, it just continued the betrayal. It was extremely difficult and I went through a rough time because of it. Its one thing for people to hate me for petty reasons (because of the way I look etc.), but when my sister accused me of something I never did to other people it really upset me.

               I was talking to my dad on MSN Messenger and told him I’ve been upset for quite some time over the week and my dad didn’t seem to care (not that I thought he would) and he said to me “Why are you upset for? Because she didn’t come over for dinner?” I did explain what happened to my dad and Autumn, but of course no one has my back, no one has ever had my back. I don’t bother explaining things to people anymore, it’s obvious they didn’t want to believe me and didn’t have my back. This is why I don’t explain things to people anymore, I don’t want to be put on trial and be judged by an unfair jury and judge. This is why I write everything down; at least when you write it down at least no one can judge you and hurt you.   

My dad didn’t care, she was talking to him but not to us; so he didn’t care about my feelings or the betrayal she did to me. She didn’t cut him out of her life and she didn’t lie about him. So because she didn’t do it to him, he was okay with it. He didn’t care about what she did to me. My dad said to me, “She says she is happy with Max, but she always said she was happy with Darren until after she left him”. It didn’t make sense to me that my sister was in contact with my father and with other people, but cut us out of her life. It still doesn’t make sense to me.

               We didn’t hear from Darren that often, but he contacted us again and we found out that he still had the four children, he was working full time, but he had a work injury and he couldn’t do much and was trying to look after them the best that he could.

My mum, who was confused about what was going on, flew down to Melbourne to help Darren out with the kids (but he no longer had them by the time she got down there). She told me she saw what my sister’s computer history; my mum knew more about computers than Darren did so she could find more than he could. Darren no longer had the children, he had a work injury, had to take time off his job and struggled to look after the four kids himself, and he was also going through a bit of depression due to my sister leaving him, which is normal when a relationship ends. Darren said he did everything he could to keep the kids but he just couldn’t do it alone. The children ended up back in foster care. Darren was pretty cut up about losing them.

My sister told my dad that when they had the children, that Darren was working and when he came home he would be tired and would sit down and watch television and movies and wouldn’t help her with the kids.

               When we found out that my sister was going around telling family members and those close to us, that we were the ones that stopped associating with her; some people believed her and some were confused. Whenever someone mentioned something about it to my mother, my mother would tell them that Chrissy stopped associating with us and she hasn’t turned her back on my sister, my mum has spent years saying that if she wants to come back into our lives she is welcome, “the door is always open if she wants to come back into our lives”. However, I think my sister feels that her lies are more important than having us in her life, which is what hurts the most.  If somebody asks me what happened between me and my sister, I just tell them the truth, that she stopped associating with us when she got involved with Max and that is the truth. I do believe if she hadn’t got involved with Max she wouldn’t have cut us off like that, but I don’t know much about what kind of person he is and what type of relationship my sister has with him. I don’t know what drove her to do that. I don’t have the answers to make sense of it all.

               I am on Facebook and one of my sisters old school friends (who my sister didn’t particularly like and who she nicknamed “swamp rat”) contacted me and asked me that she wanted to get in touch with my sister. My sister later got a Facebook account, my sister added my father on Facebook and that is when many people in our family (on both sides) added my sister as a friend on Facebook, because they noticed that my father had added her. It was during this time I found out that my sister was still telling people that we had cut her out of our lives, still going on with the same lies.

One day I was on Facebook and I posted a photo of me and my father on Facebook, we were both dressed up nice and I liked the way I looked in the photo (and I don’t like that many photographs of myself), so I tagged him in the photo. My sister was in the photo, but she wasn’t actually in the photo you could only see a little bit of the side of her hair, you couldn’t actually see her at all, you couldn’t see her body or face, you could just see a tiny bit of her hair. The photo was of me and my father, she was just standing on the side and her hair got into the photo. I tagged my dad in the photo and I didn’t think anything of it when I tagged him in the photo it was just a photo of the both of us where we both actually looked good. A few people LIKED the photo; however my sister wrote this really nasty message underneath the photo which confirmed what other people had told me previously. She wrote in capital letters “I DON’T UNDERSTAND WHY PEOPLE WHO CUT ME OUT OF MY LIFE WOULD POST PHOTOS OF ME ON FACEBOOK”, I was upset what my sister did to me but when she did this I started to feel angry, I was hurt by this. I wasn’t sure if I should leave the message there, delete it or reply to it. I’m not the type of person to have conflicts or massive fights with people in real life or on the internet; I’m a placid chilled out person and its difficult being like that when dealing with fiery people who cause trouble. When I saw her message I went into the lounge room where my mother was (she was watching TV) and told her what happened and mum told me, “Just ignore it, she is being silly again”. “Just ignore it” is pretty much the same advice my mum has been giving me all my life, she just wants me to ignore everything and act like nothing has happened. It’s probably not the best advice to give someone. But this time, I did ignore it; I was upset about it though, just another one of her lies and another knife in my back. Betrayal.  Autumn’s aunty (and Donna’s sister) LIKED her message. I don’t even know that woman that much and she certainly doesn’t know me, so I don’t know who she is to judge our situation. So I was weary of Autumn’s aunty after this. I never had much to do with Autumn’s aunty and I highly doubt my sister had much to do with her; she’s just an outsider looking in. She was in no position to judge.

I was angry and wrote on my own Facebook wall (for only my friends and family of mine to see) ‘LIAR’, sometimes you just need to get things off your chest. I’m sure my friends and family would have seen what I wrote on my feed, ‘LIAR’ and knew what I was referring to. I’m not sure if it got back to her or not what I had written, and at that time I was so over her lies and her emotional cruelty towards me, I just didn’t care. She is a liar and she knows it.

               My stepsister Autumn and I were close and she also grew up knowing my sister Chrissy. I was closer to my sister than she was though, of course. When my sister stopped associating with my mother and me, she also stopped associating with Autumn; however she got back in contact with Autumn after a while and started associating with her again online. When Autumn started talking to my sister, Autumn said to me “There are two sides to a story” which basically means she didn’t believe mine. I thought Autumn was a friend who I could trust, but Autumn showed me that she was fickle and that was a huge red flag. Autumn and my sister weren’t in contact that often, but occasionally they would chat quickly on MSN Messenger. When my sister was involved with Max, she started calling herself ‘Max and Chrissy’ on MSN Messenger, because Dad and Autumn told me that they shared everything together, even MSN Messenger. Autumn told me that Chrissy and Max would be on the internet at the same time together, and he would sit there watching when my sister wrote to Autumn online, when Autumn told me that I thought that was a little strange. My sister used to talk on the internet under her own name; she never had to share messenger or anything else before. Autumn made a joke about it, she said “Max sits next to her when she talks to me” and she laughed. Autumn thought it was hilarious, I thought it was bizarre.

Even though Autumn was in touch with my sister, even Autumn admitted that she had started noticing changes in Chrissy.

Autumn told me that Max got my sister to sell most of her stuff that she had owned, including her car. Now my sister didn’t have a car to drive around in, she asked my sister, “How are you getting around now without a car?” and my sister told her that she has to walk or take a bus.

               It wasn’t long after my sister got in contact with Autumn, that Autumn wanted to catch up with Chrissy and tried to make arrangements. My sister at this time was living in Sydney with Max. Autumn at this time was seeing a bus driver called Matthew. Autumn made plans to meet up with my sister at The Rocks, Sydney. My sister did meet up with Autumn and Matthew, and my sister was alone. Autumn asked my sister if it was okay for her to go back to where she was living now because she wanted to see their place. My sister rang up Max to ask him for permission if it was okay for Autumn and Matthew to go back to their apartment for a little while to hang out, Max gave her permission that it was okay and so Autumn and Matthew went over to Max’s apartment.

This is what Autumn told me… when they arrived there Max wasn’t there (he was at work), so they were sitting out on the balcony just chatting and everything was cool. Max turned up, he slammed the front door angrily and didn’t say hello to Autumn or Matthew, he walked into their bedroom and slammed the bedroom door shut. Max didn’t say hello to Autumn or Matthew and didn’t say hello to my sister. Autumn said that Max looked unhappy and he looked like he was pissed off. She said that Max was in his bedroom for about 10 minutes and wouldn’t come out. After a while he walked out of the bedroom and walked up to Autumn and Matthew and told them “GET OUT, GET OUT” so Autumn and Matthew left. Autumn was totally weirded out by the incident.

               My sister contacted Autumn a few days later and invited Autumn over to have dinner with them. Autumn went over to their apartment to have dinner with them. Autumn told me that when they were having dinner that my sister had a fork in her hand and wasn’t eating and was pushing the food around the plate. Autumn thought this was unusual behaviour because before my sister got involved with Max she wasn’t an over eater, but she liked her food and she never had a problem with eating. I agreed with Autumn when she told me about this, that my sister wouldn’t usually act like that. Autumn said that my sister wouldn’t touch the food on her plate and said that my sister looked uncomfortable. Autumn said to my sister, “Eat something”. After Autumn said that, Max got angry at Autumn and said aggressively to her, “DON’T TELL HER WHAT TO DO”, it was after this that Autumn felt uncomfortable around Max.

After this incident, Autumn asked my sister whether she wants to hang out, “just the two of us” in the city and they can both meet up, they both made arrangements to have lunch together in the city. On the day of the arrangement Autumn turned up but my sister didn’t. Autumn tried to get in touch with her over and over again, but my sister wouldn’t answer her phone or return any of her messages. Autumn was finally able to get a hold of my sister… eventually. My sister gave Autumn an excuse, Autumn believed it and they decided to make new arrangements to meet up again. So they made new arrangements and when the time came for them to meet up, my sister didn’t turn up again. Autumn once again attempted to contact my sister over and over again, but got nothing in return. My sister didn’t turn up and didn’t contact Autumn to give her an explanation or to apologize.

This is when my sister cut Autumn out of her life.

If my sister didn’t do this to Autumn, Autumn wouldn’t have believed what my sister did to me. Autumn had to go through a similar circumstance that I went through, for her to believe me. If that didn’t happen to her, she still wouldn’t have believed me.

Autumn continued to try and contact my sister again, but no matter what she did or how many times, my sister didn’t bother interacting with her again, Autumn eventually gave up trying.

               When Autumn told me what happened, I could have turned around (like she did to me) and said “THERE’S TWO SIDES TO EVERY STORY”, however I didn’t do that, because that’s not who I am as a person. I trust my friends (I thought I could trust them).

               The strange thing is, Autumn never mentioned anything about that young girl (who was staying with Max) being at their place when she visited, I found that weird. Where was this little girl when Autumn was visiting my sister?

               My sister remained in contact with my father; my father lives in Queensland and he didn’t care what my sister did to me or Autumn. My sister must have said something ridiculous to my father about what happened and of course he would have believed her word over anything I had to say or what Autumn said. My dad continued to make a number of snide comments directed at me about this situation after my sister cut us out of her life, and after hearing another snide remark at Christmas time, I said to my dad “If you think she’s an innocent angel why don’t you put her on top of your Christmas tree?”

I just loved the way how certain people painted me as the bad guy and she as the innocent angel without knowing the truth, but that’s typical. I’m used to it.

At least I’m able to write down what really went down in my diary, not that anybody is ever going to read this. Even if you tell the truth, they aren’t going to believe it if they don’t want to, they’ve already made up their minds. That’s the kind of people I have dealt with throughout my life. They unfairly have judge me and other people.

               My sister, Max and this young girl who was staying with Max, all went up to QLD to visit Dad and Donna. After they left, my dad got onto MSN Messenger and spilled the beans to Autumn and I, about what happened.

My dad is usually a reserved man, doesn’t like to give anything away, he’s always been a bit secretive, and usually likes to turn everything into a joke. So the fact he did say something proves that it must have been troubling his mind for him to open up and tell us like he did. This little girl, well she’s a mystery and when my sister left her husband and came to visit us at our house, she told us initially (one of her lies) that she was staying with a woman and her daughter, this of course was a lie, but I’m assuming now that Max was the “woman” and the young girl was the girl who is living with Max. The strange thing is, nobody knows whose daughter she is and how Max gained custody of her (or did he have custody of her?).

Dad told us (me and Autumn) online, that the girl is around 12 to 13-years-old, she wasn’t Max’s daughter or a family member and she also wasn’t fostered or adopted. Nobody knows who she is, and everybody seems to be confused about where her origins are. This girl was living with Max before my sister had left Darren to be with him; even my Dad said he couldn’t figure out who she was or where she came from.

My Dad told Autumn and me over MSN Messenger that Max payed little intimate attention to my sister when they were up there, but he spent most of his time paying attention to this young girl. My Dad told us that Max wouldn’t touch my sister at all, but he was constantly touching this young girl.

He also told us that Max wouldn’t let my sister out of his sight; he followed my sister everywhere and made sure that my sister wasn’t alone with him (my father). I asked dad, “What did he do when she was in the bathroom?” Dad said when my sister was in the bathroom; Max would lurk outside the door waiting for her to come back out.

Dad said my sister looked uncomfortable around Max and also didn’t look comfortable when Max was touching this young girl.

Dad didn’t get much of a chance to talk to my sister in privacy without Max being around.

Dad told us that even though this girl was young (aged 12 or 13); he said she was well developed for her age. Dad said that Max was touching her all the time and was treating her like she was his “girlfriend” and not my sister. Dad said that they both (Dad and Donna) felt uncomfortable when he was touching her. Dad said that Max even touched her on her chest and he said my sister looked uncomfortable when it happened. I said to Dad after he told us this, “Why didn’t you say anything?” and he said “I didn’t want to get involved”, Dad said he didn’t understand what was going and was confused by it. I said to him, “I would have said something if I was there” (which is true).

Dad didn’t get a good first impression of Max. Dad told us that Max was a bogan who had a mullet with one eyebrow. Donna later showed me a photo of him and he did have large eyebrows, and it did appear he only had one eyebrow. He’s also a Canterbury Bulldogs (NRL) supporter…so yeah there’s also that. He must have got rid of the mullet (or had it before the photo) because I didn’t see a mullet in the photo they had showed me of him.

Dad didn’t like Max; he said that Max talked himself up all the time. Dad said he’s one of those people who say, “I’m going to do this…” “I’m going to do that…” Dad and Donna thought he was a bit of a wanker. Even though my Dad told us he didn’t get a chance to be alone to talk with my sister. He did tell us that when he did get a chance to talk to her by herself, the only thing he said to her was, “Don’t marry him”.

My sister married him.

               Autumn and I hang out a fair bit and we got talking about this. After what Autumn and Dad told me about Max, and after what I knew about how my sister was when she did come visit us, I told Autumn it wouldn’t surprise me if Max was abusing my sister, not physically (well I don’t know), but he sounds controlling, possessive and that’s emotional abuse. Autumn agreed, she thought he was a “Weirdo”. She said she didn’t understand why my sister would be with a guy like that.

               My sister and I have been close my entire life, and it got me thinking, my sister has been in a lot of dodgy situations and quite a few questionable men, however, regardless, it didn’t matter who she was with or what circumstances she was under, we still communicated and remained in touch, nothing and nobody could separate us before Max came along. As soon as she got involved with Max, she cut us both out of our life. That is a red flag, it all happened when this Max came into the picture. So the reason why my sister cut us out of her life, could be because of Max, or something to do with Max. He could be calling the shots, or perhaps he is dodgy and she is protecting him. Lots of victims stand by their abusers. I will never know the truth for sure, my sister, I don’t think she will tell the truth to me or anybody else about what happened.

The one thing that everybody knows about me is that I’m so honest, and people like that but they don’t like it all the time. I call a spade a spade, and if someone is being dodgy to someone else, I won’t sit there and “mind my own business”. If I know some guy is controlling, possessing or abusing my sister, I won’t turn a blind eye to it; there’s no way I would do that. People know that about me. That could be another reason why she cut us out, she knows I won’t turn a blind eye if he is controlling or abusing her. I’m not into fighting, arguing, conflicts or anything like that. But I won’t sit back and turn a blind eye to something that is happening which isn’t right and I certainly won’t remain quite about it. As far as I know, no ill (from Max) has been done to my sister, not physically that I know off. But she is still with him, but what happens when the day comes when she doesn’t want to be with him anymore, what happens then? That is a concern. My sister has a history of staying with men she doesn’t want to be with and she will only leave them if she has a replacement in the wings. If there is no replacement she will remain devoted to the man she is with, regardless of her feelings.

Autumn, Dad and Donna haven’t had anything nice to say about him, but I know some people in my family are cool with him, my cousin has met him and she seems to think he’s alright. But who knows.

If Max is possessive and controlling, then why did my sister cut us out of her life and not my cousin and my Dad, or the others? It doesn’t make sense.

Perhaps she cut the people out of her life who she thinks would notice something and would say something. Perhaps she kept the people around who she feels will turn a ‘blind eye’ and who will ‘mind their own business’.

                Perhaps my sister is protecting him, or perhaps he is sussing people out and protecting himself.

I will never find out the truth, certainly not from her and most likely not from him.

Autumn and I stopped being friends later on because her brother was into children and Autumn went gaga (not Lady Gaga) over this guy who had a substance addiction (he was weird as well). As far as I know, Autumn hasn’t been in contact with my sister for years, and as far as I know I don’t think she is presently.

               We still haven’t heard from my sister and she is still married to Max. I’ve had many people stabbing me in the back so I’m immune to it now. I used to always go out of my way for people, contacting them and making plans and most of those people have betrayed me in some way or another. These days I don’t run after people anymore. I don’t want to feel like I have to beg people to be in my life or remain in my life. If somebody is a good friend or family member, they will remain in my life and I will remain in theirs.

               A few years ago I was at a family gathering (my mum’s side of the family), and my cousin told me that my sister was thinking of fostering a child, when she told me this, I told my mum. I was a bit concerned about this at the time, especially after what my father had told me. I didn’t know what to think after what my father had told me, I was left confused as well. As far as I’m aware, my sister and Max haven’t fostered any children or any more children and I wouldn’t really know if she had, but as far as I know I haven’t heard any mention of children being involved since.

I don’t know what happened to that young girl who was living with Max, she would be an adult now and I don’t think she would be living with him anymore. That girl was a total mystery to all.

               My dad is still associated with my sister of course, but he didn’t go to my sister and Max’s wedding, I don’t think anyone in my family did.

               A few years ago Dad and Donna broke up; I don’t know what happened. I didn’t find out about the break up from him, I found out from other people in the family. After they initially broke up my dad stayed up at my sister and Max’s place for a while. I thought it was strange that my dad went to their place to stay, because I always had the impression that he didn’t like Max. However, I thought maybe Dad was in a desperate situation and needed somewhere to stay, so he took whatever invitation he could get. If you are homeless and you need a home, you have to do what you can to survive.

My sister and Max moved up to Queensland not that far from where Dad and Donna are, my cousin and her family also lives up that way.

Christmas came about and my Dad’s side of the family have this Christmas gathering at my Aunts house in Sydney. My Dad doesn’t go to many of them; he’s not big on family gatherings (and I don’t blame him for that). I don’t go to them every year either, I go to a few, but I always find them a little dull. Usually when we go to a family gathering, everybody just remains in their own little groups. My cousin’s husband said, “No one interacts with each other, they just stay in their own groups” and he said that he could stay at home and do that. My Dad said he didn’t like the family gatherings because all they do is sit in front of the television and watch cricket and no one talks to each other. Dad was staying with my sister and Max at the time, and I didn’t hear about the family Christmas gathering that year which was unusual, because I usually did. I thought at the time it was strange, but I didn’t really think much of it, and personally missing out on a family gathering wouldn’t bother me too much (just being honest). I didn’t see anybody writing about it on Facebook, which was unusual because that’s where the family communicated about arrangements. That year, there was silence and nothing written about it which they would usually do.

                My cousin (on my dad’s side of the family) rang me up and asked me “Did you get invited to the family gathering?” and I told her, “No, I didn’t get an invitation this year, did you?” I found out that my sister was going that year and I’m assuming the silence meant that she didn’t want me to be there. My cousin is pretty cool and looks out for me, she sometimes tells me that she is the “black sheep” in the family, and I always think, “I always thought I was the black sheep of the family.”  I guess a lot of us in the family think we are the black sheep. When I told my cousin I didn’t get an invitation, my cousin said, “Well I’m ringing you up and inviting you to come with us” I thanked her but I decided not to go, it was obvious no one wanted me there, exception of my cousin and a few other people. It would be extremely uncomfortable for me to be around my sister who had lied about me to so many people, maybe that’s why she didn’t want me there; the truth might come out (she wouldn’t want that). I’m not the type of person to create a scene, get angry with people, yell and I’m an introvert so when I’m in an uncomfortable situation, I don’t know people, or around someone who has done wrong to me, I usually withdraw into myself, I think that’s how I protect myself. I believe that’s also why bullies and people have treated me badly over the years having gotten away with it, because I’m not like them. I like my family members, but not the family gatherings if that makes sense. It’s just me, I’m an introvert. It’s hard to explain.

My cousin and my Uncle went to the family gathering. My Uncle said that he and my Aunty (my dad’s sister) said that when they met Max that he looked really familiar and they believe they had seen him somewhere before but they couldn’t put their finger on it. They had never met Max or seen any pictures of him before, but they couldn’t figure out where they’ve seen him before. Maybe they hadn’t seen him before, maybe he looks like someone they’ve seen on television or something?  Everyone has a double out there.

               My dad moved out of Max and my sister’s place. I went up to one of the Christmas family gathering, not the same year my sister was there and my Dad was sitting there, my Dad doesn’t really have much to do with his family but occasionally he will turn up to something. So I went down to sit next to him on the couch and talked to him. He didn’t mention anything about my sister, and told me little about himself.

               It wasn’t long after that my dad moved into a new home, I’m assuming it was with his new girlfriends place (?). My cousin (on my dad’s side of the family) who lives up in QLD told me that my dad doesn’t associate with anybody in the family these days, not even my sister (which is surprising); she told me he has cut everyone off. She told me, “Don’t take it personally if you haven’t heard from him”, and I’m like, “okay”.

               My Uncle passed away (my dad’s brother). My uncle, my cousin, my cousin and I went to his funeral. I wasn’t close to this uncle, but it was still sad he passed away. My sister wasn’t there, but my cousin was (who lives near my sister) and my dad was also there which surprised me because I didn’t think he would go. My cousin, my cousin (who lives near my sister) and I were standing together, we were like sardines in this small room after the service, and my cousin said that my dad doesn’t talk to anybody anymore, not even my sister; she said, “It makes me so mad how he treats you girls (meaning me and my sister)”. My dad was close by talking to a few people and didn’t approach me, so I went up to him and said hello. I asked him how he was and blah blah blah, and I asked him where he was living now and where I could contact him, he told me was that he was living up at Hervey Bay (which I already knew), and he wrote down a PO box number and that was it. I asked him if he was going to the club for drinks afterwards (where the whole family was going to be) and he said no, because he was staying with his sister at the time and had to go back with her.

When we were at the club, my cousin and my cousin were talking and I heard my cousin (who lives near my sister) telling my cousin how nice my sister was, and she also told my cousin what a nice guy Max was.

I don’t think I will ever hear or see my sister again, unless we bump into each other at a family gathering, wedding or funeral or something like that and if that happened it would be very awkward and uncomfortable. I know she’s my sister, but she is also somebody who stabbed the knife in, turned her back on me and also spent years and years spreading lies about the circumstances, how can I intervene with somebody who did that to them? It’s hard to be forgiving when somebody isn’t sorry. If they aren’t sorry, they aren’t sorry for what they did which means they could and would do it again. Red flag, don’t ignore it.

I don’t know if the truth ever will come out one day, maybe it will if Max and she ever break up. But even if they did break up, I don’t think the truth will come out, but I do believe more lies would crop up.

At the end of the day, I know the truth and she knows the truth and that’s all that matters.

I don’t see a relationship with her taking place in the future, I think that ship sailed a long time ago.

My cousin says that my sister and my dad are quite similar in a lot of ways. I think my sister is a lot like my mother in a lot of ways.