BASHED

 BASHED

My mum’s boyfriend Thomas, who is the man that did disturbing things to me, was bashed recently. When my mum visited me she told to my uncle. I of course don’t have anything to do with him and have no interest in him at all. My mum enabled him to do what he was doing to me and lied to protect him; well I am still in contact with her. I’m still upset about what she did to me and I don’t think I will ever get over it. I will never get over it; it will stay with me for the rest of my life. It was one of the most difficult experiences I’ve had to deal with.

                After he was released from the hospital my Mum told my uncle that her boyfriend had been walking down the street and allegedly these men stopped their car and got out and bashed him, for no particular reason.

                He went to the hospital and mum said he was in there for weeks and now he is out of the hospital and is okay and completely normal again. 

                My mum’s recollection of the story is unusual. My mum has a history of turning the truth around, she likes to add stuff that wasn’t there, and she exaggerates sometimes - so I’m not sure what to believe. If you tell her something and she repeats it to someone else, she will stuff up and exaggerate and add stuff that wasn’t there before and will change a lot of details. So when you hear her talking about something you have to be like a detective. I don’t know whether she does it on purpose because she doesn’t listen properly or because she likes to talk a lot and wants people to listen to her longer. When my mum says something, she changes a lot of the story each time she says something and she’s been doing that for as long as I remember, so it’s complicated. If someone tells her something, she will change it rapidly and I find myself questioning things a lot when she says something because her stories change all the time and it’s never consistent.  If someone’s not sure about something, don’t make stuff up - just say you don’t know. If you’re not sure if it’s true or not, say, ‘I don’t know if it’s true or not'. If someone has said something, say that ‘this person said…’.

                Mum said that two men bashed her boyfriend, but a week later she then said that there was only one man who was in the car and bashed him (and there was only one man involved in the incident). She told us this was weeks after he was released from the hospital and when he was ‘normal’ again. What she says is so obscure and now she is saying there was only one man, so what happened to the second man she told us about a week before? Who knows? Her details of this story have changed in a matter of days. Mum said the perpetrator was an islander, a Maori man and she said he was most likely on drugs. Mum said that Thomas was walking past a druggy place; she said it is a location where druggies go to shoot up, which doesn’t sound like the safest place to walk near. I don’t know why he was walking there in the first place and she didn’t give that information (I wasn’t asking questions). Mum said it was just some random attack by a drug addict and there was no motive.

                Mum said the incident was reported to the police straight away and that her boyfriend remembered everything clearly after it happened. Mum said they got the incident and the car and the guy on tape (CCTV?). Mum said that the druggy who bashed her boyfriend was a Parramatta NRL player. She said he lives in the same place where all the NRL players live (I didn’t think NRL players all lived in the same place?). If it was an NRL player (even if it was a lower grade player) it would have been on the news, wouldn’t it? My mum hates the Parramatta Eels. 

Mum said that it took the police months to catch this guy and arrest him. She said that they caught him four months later. Mum said they are going to court and that it won’t take place until a year or later.

I didn’t ask any questions about him or what else. When mum talks about it to my uncle I hear, I am in their presence so I hear about it. I heard everything she said each time, I’m a good listener and so is my uncle.

                My main concern is why he was walking in that area and I’m worried that he was walking my mother’s dog at the time of the incident. I don’t want him being walked in an area where there’s a crime that puts the dog in danger. If they know it’s a dangerous area, you don’t walk there and you certainly don’t walk a dog there. I said to mum that she shouldn’t walk anywhere where people are shooting up and she said to me that she doesn’t walk near there. I don’t understand why her boyfriend was walking in that area at the time and I know he doesn’t do drugs (that I’m aware of). I’m worried about my mum’s dog. I care about him all the time and always worry about him.

The man (or men ?) who bashed Thomas didn’t steal from him.

                I told Judy about it on Thursday night and she threw her head back and laughed, and said, “I bet you would have loved hearing that” and she laughed. She said, “I know you hate him but I know you’re not into that sort of thing [violence]”.

                I told Juliette about it and she told me that she knew this guy who was murdered in Parramatta just near the train station and he was murdered by a complete stranger. She said the man who killed him wanted to join a gang and to get into this gang he had to prove himself by killing someone and she said he killed someone just to be accepted into the gang.

                People are weird and I just don’t understand them. When he was doing all those things to me and it was getting worse, I just didn’t want anything to do with him anymore and because I’m an adult I was able to do that (get away from him). That’s how I deal with toxic people, if they hurt me or do something bad to me then I dissociate from them. I don’t want any toxic people in my life hurt me. People always hurt me, I don’t know why, but I don’t want it to happen so I try to avoid it happening again and again (like they usually do) which is why I prefer to keep trouble makers at a distance. I won’t remain silent about what they have done just to protect them. I’ll tell my friends and family if they care that is (most don’t). The bad people I’ve had in my life all want me to remain silent and not tell anyone and even when I do they just deny it and do some stupid spin story. They just want me to remain quiet to get away with the shit that they have done to me, they don’t care about my feelings; they just care about themselves. I don’t have a voice and don’t have anybody to listen or care about me which is why I write and that’s the only way I can help myself.

My uncle just sat and listened to my mum talking like he usually does. My uncle is like me, we are both listeners. You learn more as an observer and listener.

                It still upsets me what my mother did to me, the ultimate betrayal from my own mother. I just want him away from me and that’s what matters to me. I won’t be inquiring about him at all or what happened to him.