LENNY

 Lenny

My mum was friends with her co-worker Dena and they hanged out a bit. I actually liked quite a few of the people my mum was friends with; some of them were pretty cool to hang out with. Dena was a good person; she had a bit of class, was intelligent, and had good taste. She was from New Zealand and lived with her husband Lenny and her mother, in Australia.

Lenny was a flirt but he flirted with just about everyone (only women). He never touched me or said anything inappropriate to me. When Lenny was around us so was his wife Dena.

               One year on my mother’s birthday we went to this club to see this cover band that my mother and her creepy boyfriend would always go out and see. Mary was a friend of my mum’s who also worked with Mum and Dena. Mary was pretty cool, she loved drinking, and having fun, was interesting, and was a pretty decent person. Mary turned up and asked us if Lenny and Dena were coming that night. We told her we had invited them as we usually do. Mary lived with her disabled husband, her daughter, and grandchildren. She told us that Lenny came over to help them fix something at their house and mentioned that he behaved inappropriately towards her. I was shocked at first, we all knew he was a flirt but I didn’t think he would ever do something like that. I believed what Mary had told us and I was wary of Lenny after that. That night at the club when Mary told us what Lenny had done to her; Mum said to Mary in front of me that Lenny had done something similar to her. Mum told her that she had asked Lenny to come over to fix something for her and afterward he held her against the wall and told her he was ‘going to be with her’ (or something like that). Mum told Mary that Lenny would sometimes call her on her phone and she wouldn’t answer it. Mum thought he was trying to persuade her to call him. Mum said he did this for some time but he eventually stopped.

I asked Mum, “Has anyone told Dena what he has done?” and she told me that someone said something about Lenny to her once and she thought he was just playing around and she just laughed. I’m glad that Mary told me what Lenny had done to her because it gave me an awareness of being cautious if I would have to be around him. They said that if he does a favor for someone he will want something back in return.

Lenny and Dena turned up afterward and Mary was polite toward Dena and kept her distance from Lenny. This was the last gathering I had where Lenny was there because I became homeless due to my mum’s boyfriend's inappropriate behavior towards me.

               Years before Mary told us that Lenny behaved inappropriately toward her, my mum was in a relationship with a man named Terry. Terry was a married man and he would spend a lot of time living in both Australia and England (where his family and wife lived). My mum would make these sexy and romantic videos of herself wearing lingerie, walking around the house drinking Coca-Cola out of a glass, and dancing around in front of the camera whilst Celine Dion music was playing in the background. She would have candles lit in the lounge room, her bedroom, and dining room and she would talk to Terry to the camera. My Aunty would film it and I don’t know where it ended up after that, I think I might have a partial copy of this somewhere. This is the type of thing my mum does, she’s just really into romance and relationships and stuff like that. One afternoon when Terry was in England, Lenny came over and I wasn’t sure why he was there, but he was alone without Dena which was unusual. At the time I was on the computer in the spare room chatting on MSN Messenger with my friends. My mum and Lenny went into her bedroom and she closed the door behind her. I could hear Mum and Lenny in the bedroom together and all I could hear was her laughing and I could hear Lenny taking photos of her and telling her how good she looked. I told my friend on MSN messenger what was going on, and they were a little taken aback by it. But my friends knew my mum and knew she was a bit eccentric.

               It was about a month or two after Mary told us about what Lenny did to her that I became homeless due to my mum’s creepy boyfriend’s inappropriate behavior towards me. My mum stood by him instead of standing by me (which still disturbs me to this day). I went to stay at Katie’s family home for a little bit. I wrote to my friends and family to let them know what happened and that I was no longer living at my former home and why. I sent this email to Dena as well, however; Lenny and Dena both shared an email. I don’t know why, but I just couldn’t contact Dena without contacting Lenny. I only stayed at Katie’s family home for a few weeks and then moved into this shit hole place which was the cheapest place I could afford at the time. In truth, I couldn’t really afford it. I could pay the rent but I couldn’t do anything else because I was on Newstart payments. I would sometimes get an email from Dena and Lenny but I wasn’t too sure who was writing it or sending it.

I was suffering from serious depression at the time and it was during this time that Lenny started contacting me more often. I was always courteous towards him and thanked him for his concerns and suggestions for help, but didn’t want to go any further than that. I had already gone through a difficult time due to my mother and her boyfriend, and I was told enough about Lenny to know to proceed with caution. He started ringing me up a fair bit and leaving messages, in one message he said he would be in the area where I was (which was about two-hour drive away from where he lived) and he said he wanted to meet up with me for lunch. I thanked him and turned down the invitation.

Even though I was seriously depressed; he told me he wanted to help me get a job. I didn’t feel comfortable getting help from him, just in case he wanted some ‘favour’ back in return, and after what Mary and Mum said; I didn’t even want to go there. I don’t know whether he would have done something if he did help me, maybe he was being decent and kind-hearted, or maybe he would have gone there during or after he had helped me – who knows. I was in a bad place at the time and I just wanted peace of mind. I had spent months and over a year being scared of my mother’s boyfriend and my mother’s own disturbing behavior, I was in a vulnerable position and I probably did need help but if I gained that help I wanted it from someone who was decent and from someone who I knew I could trust. I had already gone through enough shit already and I didn’t need any more problems. Lenny didn’t know exactly where I was, not the address anyway, so he couldn’t turn up by surprise. All he could do was email, ring, and text me which is what he did.

               When I moved in with my Uncle, Lenny bumped into me at my Uncle’s local shops. I asked my mum the next time I saw her, “Does Lenny usually shop at those shops?” and mum said, “He might do.” When I first bumped into him I was with my uncle and my uncle was still driving his car at the time. I told my Uncle about what Mary and my mum had said about him after we got home, and my Uncle said to me, “If I had known that I would have told him to go away”. I started bumping into him often at our local shops after that. I would have to walk past these shops to get to the bus stop. Sometimes I would be walking to the bus stop and I would walk past him and he would be just outside the liquor store. We would say hello and small chat but that’s about it. He would always offer me a lift to go somewhere, but I always turned him down. Lenny was usually polite and decent most of the time, but that doesn’t mean I would want to be with him in a dark alley. Before I became homeless; I would sometimes see Lenny alone in the food court before I went to work and I would usually have salad, usually from Sumo Salad (which was my favourite store). When I was staying with my uncle, Lenny continued to contact me and invited me to have lunch with him at my favourite Indian shop at the food court. Even though I never ate anything from the Indian shop up there, Sumo Salad was close to it, so I assumed he got the two mixed up. I turned him down but thanked him politely. It wasn’t long after that, that I bumped into him again at my local shops and he asked me to have lunch with him at my favourite Indian store and he said, “I used to see you eating there all the time” and I let him know that I was eating salad from Sumo Salad, not from the Indian store. I don’t hate Indian food but I’ve had some bad experiences from it in the past which stopped me from eating it again.

I rarely to never heard from his wife Dena, and whenever he bumped into me he was always alone, and never with Dena. When he invited me out it was to be with him and never mentioned Dena.

When I first became homeless I contacted a few people a few times but I stopped after that. I only communicated with a few people after that and I never went out of my way to contact Lenny. If I saw Lenny at the local shops I would say hello or wave to him because I don’t like being rude or nasty to people, it’s just not in my blood. I find it hard to be rude or nasty towards people, even those who have done me or someone else wrong. The only time I would contact Dena was on her birthday just to wish her a happy birthday, however, when I did that I would usually get a message from him. Sometimes she would write back, well I think it was her writing back.

Before I became homeless, we were usually in contact with Dena and we would always invite her to gatherings, but that changed after I became homeless. My mum had little to nothing to do with Dena after that. Mum said she didn’t like associating with Dena because of Dena’s New Zealand friends. She said that Dena and Dena’s friends looked down on Australia and Australians because they thought New Zealand and New Zealand people were better than Australians. Mum believes that Dena and her white posh friends are hypocrites because even though they bag out Australia all the time, they live here and don’t want to live in New Zealand. Mum told me that she overheard Dena’s friend saying, “I don’t like Australians and I don’t like living in Australia. The only reason I’m living here is because Australians are stupid enough to give me money for nothing” (or something like that). I don’t know if this is true or not, but my mum’s a proud Australian and she doesn’t like people knocking Australia.

Every blue moon I would continue bumping into Lenny but he was never with Dena. One day I was walking past the bank in town and he said hello to me. Lenny didn’t look healthy, he was losing weight and getting sicker and I kind of felt sorry for him.

               There was another time I was at my uncle’s local shops I bumped into him again and he told me that his good friend (who was Claire’s father) had passed away. Claire’s dad and Lenny were close from a young age and they both endured war together. He was upset about it and I felt pity for him. I told him I was “sorry for his loss” and that it was terrible news. It’s sad when good people die at a young age, it’s not fair, good people deserve to live longer. I’ve lost a lot of people out of my life so I know how difficult it is.

He told me that Claire’s father hated Gary, Gary was Claire’s boyfriend and was also Keith’s best friend (Keith is Sharon’s boyfriend). A lot of people didn’t like Gary because he had been in and out of prison most of his life for violence. I had met Claire’s father a couple of times and he was a nice guy. I felt sad for Claire, but at this time I haven’t seen Claire for years, she had cut her friends off so she could spend all her time with Gary. Lenny told me that Claire’s dad had worried that Claire was with a guy like Gary. Gary isn’t somebody you would want your daughter to be in a relationship with, so I do understand Lenny and Claire’s dad’s concerns. Lenny hated Gary and he had nothing good to say about Gary to me. I think most people were only polite to Gary for Claire’s sake.

               One day Mum and I were at the local shops and Lenny was there (again) and I was there getting a medication prescription for my uncle. Lenny waved at Mum and me, but Mum either didn’t see him or was ignoring him on purpose. I waved to him to say hello and I said to mum, “There’s Lenny” she had a dirty look on her face and gave him a short unfriendly wave and turned her back on him and walked into the store with me. Mum didn’t want to talk to him; she called Lenny, “Lenny the sleaze” or “Lenny the sleazebag”.

               Mum believed Lenny was taking too much interest in me and told me to ignore Lenny. I find it strange that my mother becomes protective over me over Lenny’s interest in me but never seemed to have an issue over her boyfriend’s behaviour. Her boyfriend and her actions did a lot worse to me than anything that Lenny had done to me. She was okay with her boyfriend creeping on me but wasn’t okay with what Lenny was doing. Maybe she was okay with her boyfriend doing it because that was her boyfriend and she didn’t want to lose him because she didn’t want to be single. It shouldn’t be acceptable for her boyfriend or anybody to behave creepy toward me, regardless if she’s in a relationship with them or not. It upsets me when I think about it. I try not to think about it sometimes but I don’t think I will ever be able to forget. I find it difficult to be around her sometimes knowing what she had done and knowing that she is the only person who cares about me and wants to be in my life permanently, but what she did to me during that time was despicable. Sometimes I see her as two different people, one the kind person and the other person who put a man’s indecent actions before her own daughter's safety. The fact that she doesn’t think she and her boyfriend did any wrong (or she doesn’t want to acknowledge it), the fact that she stood by him and is still in a relationship with him, and the fact that she isn’t even sorry to have really hurt me over the years and I feel that it is a huge red flag, certainly not a red flag that I have ignored.

               I got this random email message, which was a chain mail email from Lenny telling me to send it back to him and nine other people. I didn’t think anybody ever passed on jokes or chain emails anymore; I think that was what people were doing in the early 2000s but not now. I only use my email address for professional and business reasons these days. A few days later he sent me a text message asking me what the name of the butcher who used to be at the local shops. I didn’t have any credit on my phone to reply and I didn’t know the butcher's name. I don’t know if he meant the butcher's name or the store name, I wouldn’t have a clue because I’m a vegetarian. I think my Uncle’s local shops at some stage did have a butcher, but it wasn’t there for long, it was only open for a month before it closed down. I didn’t reply to him, I thought since he’s always ‘bumping into me’ I could tell him then.

               I don’t have Lenny or Dena as friends on my Facebook and I also don’t have anyone who is friends with them. I then started seeing Lenny appearing on my PEOPLE YOU MAY KNOW list on Facebook. I also started seeing a few of his friends on my list as well but none of them had profile pictures which was unusual. I just thought it was unusual how out of the blue he and his friends started appearing on my People You May Know list on my Facebook.

               I was at Coles one day and I thought I saw Lenny and he looked sick and thin. He used to be a big man, but he had lost a lot of weight. I wasn’t close to him and my eyesight isn’t good. I later told Mum I thought I had seen him at Coles and she asked, “You didn’t talk to him did you?” I said, “No” and she said, “GOOD”. I told her how sick and thin he looked, Mum told me that when he was in the war he got this thing that affected him, called “green” something; I can’t remember what it is called.

               I don’t hear from Dena much these days and haven’t bumped into her for years. I’ve been bumping into Lenny all the time but she’s never with him. Mum has nothing to do with Dena anymore. I liked Dena and I kind of miss her being around she was a nice person. I told Mum it was difficult to contact Dena because when you do, you get Lenny contacting you back instead of her and I don’t know if she was even receiving my emails or not; so I just stopped contacting her. When I bump into Lenny I ask about her, and he tells me that she travels a bit around the world with her friend (the lady my mum hates). I think Dena is like the modern version of Eleanor of Aquitaine; she was a free spirit who loved traveling. She’s fortunate to be able to travel around the world. At least I know she’s happy and doing what she loves.