AUTUMN Part 1 - we used to be friends a long time ago...

AUTUMN Part 1

                Autumn and I became friends after her mother married my father when we were both young children. Autumn and Samuel are the children of my Dad’s wife Donna. Autumn and Samuel were brought up by their father who had custody of them. Us five kids would hang out with each other whenever we stayed with our parents each fortnight.

                               Autumn and I enjoyed shopping, cafes and restaurants, watching movies, socialising, hanging out and discussing everything and anything. Even though we had little in common we did get along well. We always made the effort to communicate and to remain in contact which I feel is vital for a friendship to persist. Out of all the “friends” I’ve had I felt that I could rely on Autumn the most.

               There were many factors of why Autumn and I had a falling out.

               Autumn fell in love with one of her Facebook friends Jack who was also on my Facebook friends list but I wasn’t as close to him as she was. She liked Jack because she said he talked to her (online) and she liked having a man converse with her. I liked Jack because we both had similar movie and film taste (I didn’t like him for the same reasons Autumn liked him). Jack had a serious drug and alcohol problem and he was verbally and emotionally abusive. There were times when he could come across as a decent enough person. There were times when Autumn would tell me about how Jack would get angry at her because she didn’t hold the same opinion as him and on one occasion he deleted her because of this. I never witnessed any of these altercations between them because I assumed this was taking place on Skype, PM or chat. Even though I didn’t witness it I believed Autumn and I told her that he shouldn’t be treating her like that and she had every right to an opinion, even if it differs to her own. When Autumn had a fight or a falling out with Jack, she would be angry with him and vent to me about what had occurred and would tell me she didn’t want to be friends with him anymore. A few days later she would add him back as a friend and she would tell me, “Everything is all right”. If Autumn had deleted Jack as a friend I would have as well.  It just seemed like one minute she was hating on him and calling him an “arsehole” and the next she was on good terms with him.

               Autumn and I got along well most of the time but none of my friends warmed to her. I like to accept people for who they are… flaws and all. I accepted her for who she was – the good and the bad. I don’t like people who hate on people for the way they look and that sort of thing, I’m not into that superficial bullying. I’ve had people hating on me for the way I look so I don’t like people doing it to anybody else, especially towards someone I considered a friend. Matthew believed she was rude and he would often state how “charming” she was (sarcasm). I feel the reason why Autumn was rude and had poor manners was mainly because of her father. She was raised by her father and behaved a lot like him. Her father was a nice guy and was decent enough but he came across as rude and aggressive when he spoke to people. It was awkward being around Autumn though because she could be extremely rude to people who worked in retail and hospitality and she always looked down her nose at people who worked in customer service. Once we went to the hairdresser and our appointment wasn’t for another hour and so she marched up to the hostess at the hairdresser and demanded that she wanted to get in on time and didn’t want to wait and the lady said to her, “Your appointment isn’t for another hour” and Autumn said, “I know it’s in another hour but I want to get in on time” and then Autumn stormed off and I was trying to catch up with her. When she was at the hairdresser she started complaining about the hairdresser not speaking clear English (the hairdresser was Swedish). There was another time we went to my local store and we had Asian people serving us. We’ve been going to that store for some time and they were always decent enough to us and we could understand them. Autumn however was so rude to them and said, “I can’t deal with these types of people” and said she couldn’t understand them. There was another time she was buying donuts from this store and the girl who was serving her was polite and just doing her job and when it was time for Autumn to pay, Autumn just threw the note at her in a rude manner and the server and I were both shocked and I said, “Autumn!” and she said, “What?” and it was like she didn’t care (or just didn’t get it). Manners weren’t Autumn’s forte. Autumn did have a lot of good qualities though.

               Autumn was obsessed with men, I’m obsessed with men, most of us are but she tended to become a little all-consuming and she did tend to stalk the men she liked – she stalked them like prey. I wasn’t involved in what she was doing to men (until she fell in love with Jack). Autumn was obsessed in wanting to have a baby; she loved babies and wanted one of her own. She was fussy though, she always said she wanted a “good looking baby” and that she didn’t want an “ugly baby”. Autumn never had a boyfriend when I was friends with her (not that there is anything wrong with that) however she would only get involved with other women’s boyfriends/husbands, and that got messy for her at times. Even though she would tell us (me and my friends) about these men she liked, we were able to keep a distance from it.

               Even though I kept a distance from Autumns “love life”, she seemed to tangle me up in it occasionally. Autumn used chat rooms often. One day whilst I was visiting her at her dad’s house I found out by pure accident that she had been sending a photograph of me to men on the internet who she had been talking to online. She was telling them that the girl in the photo (which was me) was actually her. She told me and didn’t see it as a problem. She told me that she liked that photo of me and that’s why she was using it. It wasn’t the best photo of me, it was a photo of me in Townsville with dark red hair. I usually ignored what Autumn did when it came to men but this time it involved me so it wasn’t something I could ignore. I told her I didn’t want her using my photo anymore and she said, “What’s the fuss? They don’t know who you are.” I told her to stop using my photo, even though I took the photo home she had already scanned it and it was saved on her computer so I don’t know if she actually stopped using it or not. I made her promise me not to use it again and she said, “Yeah okay” casually and I took her word for it and that was the end of that. I was concerned about it, I mean; I don’t know who she is conversing with or where they lived. This could have potentially put my safety and security in danger. I’m assuming she didn’t meet these men in real life considering we both look completely different.

                It wasn’t long after this that she fell in love with this man on the internet who was from Finland and I knew she wasn’t sending him photos of me because she told me she was sending him pictures of this actress who starred in one of those daytime soapies, Young and the Restless or Bold and the Beautiful (one of those). She told him that this actress was actually her. Whenever we went shopping together Autumn would be in the Newsagent buying all the daytime soapie magazines. I didn’t know who this actress was because I don’t watch daytime soapies. I don’t know why this guy in Finland believed that this actress was actually Autumn but in his defence the actress wasn’t famous and I don’t believe he would be sitting around watching daytime soapies all day (he should have been suspicious though). The problem arose that Autumn and this man from Finland were in love and they wanted to meet. There is no way Autumn looked anything like this actress and regardless of what kind of makeover she did, she still wouldn’t look like her. Autumn was in love with him so she told him the truth and sent him a real photo of herself. She didn’t hear from him again. I believe after this she was more honest with men and started to use her own photo.

               Autumn and I both struggled to get work over the years but in comparison to others. We did work over the years but there were times we would find ourselves unemployed between jobs we worked in. Once when Autumn was out of work she had to do this WFTD scheme where she met this man Ryan who had a girlfriend, lived with his gf and had many children together. When Autumn and Ryan finished WFTD they remained in contact over the internet. Ryan started working at Australia’s Wonderland at the same time when Melissa (a friend) was working there. One day Melissa rang me and told me that she has seen Autumn standing outside her work every afternoon on the days Ryan worked. I told Melissa that Autumn loved amusement parks and I assumed that Autumn was going in there, Melissa said, “No she never goes inside. She takes the bus to the [theme park name] and waits outside for him” and she said, “He doesn’t even like her.” Autumn had showed me a photo of him and I used to see him on Facebook sometimes. Ryan at first would converse with Autumn online but I noticed he kind of disappeared and stopped communicating with her online.

When that theme park closed down, Ryan gained employment inside our local Penrith RSL club. I assumed that Autumn would have known about this because she would often tell us that they were both in love with each other. One night I was at the club for dinner with my mother and family members and mum told me that there was a man who worked there who kept looking at me. I looked up and noticed it was Ryan. He may have recognized me from my correspondence with Autumn online. I later told Autumn that I saw Ryan working at the RSL club and I assumed she had already known he was working there, but she didn’t. When she found out he was working there she started going to the club and quickly learned his work roster. She usually went by herself and never invited Claire or myself to go with her. This scenario continued for months. Autumn would frequently text us from the club when she was there. Once I was at the RSL club with friends including Autumn, Ryan was working that night and she waved to him but he didn’t go over to her and never spoke to her. This Ryan and Autumn relationship was a mystery to myself and my friends. One day Autumn and I were at the shops and Ryan walked past with his wife and some kids and even though he was near us and most likely saw her, he didn’t acknowledge Autumn at all and walked straight pass her. Autumn grabbed my arm and pointed to his girlfriend (or wife, or whatever she was) and said to me, “Look that is Ryan’s wife, isn’t she fat and ugly? Why would he want to be with her?”. That was the only time I got to see Ryan’s girlfriend in person, however, Autumn did show me his girlfriend’s Facebook account once when I was with her.

One night I bumped into my cousin and she had told me that she had recently went to the RSL club and she noticed Autumn sitting there by herself all night drinking Coca-Cola. She asked me why Autumn was alone at the club all night and I told her that there was a man who worked there that she likes. My cousin said that she was going to go up to say hello to Autumn but she told me that Autumn looked so miserable she decided not to. Even though I had nothing to do with this Autumn and Ryan thing - whatever it was, I started to have all these friends and family contacting me telling me how they have noticed Autumn sitting at the club by herself. It was our local club which many of my friends and family members would frequent so many of them became suspicious and curious about Autumns behaviour. I didn’t take it too seriously at the time and there were times when I and my friends thought the entire scenario was hilarious. If somebody mentions something to me about it I just have a laugh – I can’t help it.

When it was Autumn’s birthday she decided to celebrate her birthday at the same club which Ryan worked at (of course) and she told us that he was working that night. So she invited us girls along, Sharon, Claire and I. Autumn spent most of the night swinging her head back looking for Ryan. Autumn couldn’t relax, so I asked her, “Does he know you’re going to be here tonight?” and she said, “Of course he does, I told him I was going to be here for my birthday and he told me he was working tonight”. Autumn spent the first two to three hours on edge and she kept jumping out of her seat, standing up and running around the club in an attempt to find him and would return to our table disappointed. Autumn and I went to the bar so I could get a drink and so we asked the lady who worked there whether he was working that night. She told us that Ryan had changed his shift for a different night with another staff member. I thought it was unusual that Ryan and Autumn were so in love with each other (like Autumn had told me they were) and that he would change his shift to work a different night if he knew that it was Autumn’s birthday. I also thought it was strange that they were allegedly so close but he never contacted her to let her know that he wasn’t working that night and he also didn’t send her a birthday message. Autumn was bummed out that he wasn’t there that night but after her birthday she continued to go to the club whenever he was working. Autumn told me, “What we have [she and Ryan] is special it’s just that his wife and kids are in the way. If it wasn’t for his wife and kids we would be together and everything would be perfect”. One day she told me she was going to the club to see Ryan and I asked her, “Does he know you’re going to be there?” and she said, “Of course he knows I’m going to be there” and I said, “Well you are there every night he works so why wouldn’t he?”

One night she went to the club to wait for him all night like she usually did. After his shift was over he sneaked out of the club with another woman (not his girlfriend/wife) and went to another club. Autumn waited for him and later asked another staff member where he was and she told him he had already left to go to the other club with a friend. So Autumn went to that club and confronted him, I don’t know the details but she stopped going to the club after that. He was no longer in contact with her and he never replied to any of her messages and not long after that he stopped working at the club and moved house.

Years later, Autumn and I were at a club (Panthers) and she asked me, “Do you ever see Ryan around?” and I said, “No I haven’t seen him”. I told Autumn that if he wanted to contact her he would - he knows her phone number, email address and Facebook. Years later, Sharon, Autumn and I were at Circular Quay waiting for our train when Autumn started talking about Ryan again. Sharon knew about Ryan, well everyone did. Sharon asked Autumn, “Did you ever care about his wife’s feelings?” and Autumn just looked at Sharon and said, “I suppose”.

               There were many times when Autumn dragged me into these incidents. One time Autumn and I decided to have lunch and go shopping at Westfield. We were sitting in the food court eating Chinese and half way through eating my meal, Autumn said, “I forgot to tell you. I’m meeting someone here”. I said, “What?” and she said, “Just a friend” and I asked her what kind of friend and she told me it was a man she had been chatting to online whom she had never met before. I don’t believe she just “forgot” to tell me I honestly felt that she just wanted to spring it on me at the last minute (which she did). After we both ate our lunch we were sitting there for a lengthy period of time because she was waiting for him to turn up. I started asking questions, “Does he know what you look like?” and she said, “Yes” and told me that she had sent him a photograph of herself. He never turned up and the next time I spoke to her I asked her, “What happened to that guy that you were waiting for?” and she said, “That fell through.”

               Autumn and my friendship started deteroriate slowly, Autumn’s behaviour due to her obsession over Jack and the business with her brother. My mother’s boyfriend was behaving inappropriate towards me and it was a stressful time for me. Some of the people who were aware of what was taking place were there for me but Autumn wasn’t. She started ignoring me and turned her back on me. She was making nasty scathing remarks behind my back to my friends. After I told my friends what my mum’s boyfriend had been doing to me, she told one friend that I was “just trying to get attention”. I always stood by Autumn through the good and bad and all the dramas and bullshit she had been through, however, when I was going through a difficult time she didn’t want to know about it and used it as fuel to talk smack about me.

               Jack was Autumn’s Facebook friend. I wasn’t close to Jack as Autumn was (which was probably a good thing). He added me as a friend a couple of years before and he was okay most of the time on the internet. I mainly post about movies and music which is what I’m into - and that is what we had in common. We used to all do NRL football tipping and we would talk about music and films and that sort of thing. What I liked about Jack is that he did have some good taste in music and films, and that was the extent of what we would chat about online. I never had any other relationship with him and didn’t yearn for one. We never spoke in chat rooms, private chat or Skype. Autumn had told me on previous occasions that Jack had anger issues and once she said that, “he is on so many drugs he doesn’t know what he’s saying”.

                Autumn planned to go to the city for lunch and drinks and so I invited Sharon to come with us. Autumn wanted more people to turn up because she didn’t have any friends besides myself so she said that is why she invited Jack along. Jack told Autumn he couldn’t attend her birthday because he was going elsewhere and when Jack turned down her invitation; Autumn was pissed off about it and got online and started venting about him to Sharon and I. She told us that Jack could “go of his head” because he was on drugs and was a drunk. However the next day Autumn was in a changed mood and told us that Jack was attending with his brother. Autumn had only met Jack twice previously for a short duration of time (once at the football and once at the show). I was apprehensive about meeting him after everything Autumn told us about him.

When we got to the city, Sharon, Autumn and I headed to our favourite Italian restaurant where we would occasionally dine. We sat there waiting for Jack and his brother for some time and it got to the point where I started to think that they weren’t going to turn up. Autumn started to become more anxious the longer she had to wait and I had to try and calm her down. Jack and his brother eventually did turn up and at the time of greeting Jack seemed like a normal nice guy. When Jack turned up Autumn started to relax but seemed a bit uptight but I felt she was like that because she was nervous. She started behaving like a different person to how she usually is but I felt she was doing that because she wanted to impress him or wanted him to like her. After lunch we went to a few bars around circular quay and then we ended up at my favourite bar in the city which they all liked. Autumn had always been extremely anti-drinking and she always put me and other people down for drinking. Anybody who drank a glass of alcohol was a “drunk”. Autumn never drank alcohol in her life but because Jack was drinking alcohol she started drinking alcohol. Sharon and I were shocked and we said, “You’re drinking alcohol?” and she said in front of all of us, “I’ve always drank alcohol” (liar). We were all sitting around this smallish table (I think it was a barrel or something) and Sharon sat next to Jack and was talking to him a fair bit, Sharon talks a lot when she’s sober and when she drinks she talks even more. Jack got up with his brother to use the restroom and as soon as he was out of sight, Autumn’s smile turned into a frown and snapped at Sharon aggressively, “YOU KNOW WHAT SHARON YOU TALK TOO MUCH YOU KNOW THAT?” Autumn was upset with Sharon because Sharon was talking to Jack. I talk sometimes but I also like to listen to what other people have to say. Because I wasn’t doing all the talking, Autumn didn’t have an issue with me (well not that I knew of). When Jack returned to the table with his brother, Autumn started smiling again and was laughing and Sharon and I just looked at each other and we were both thinking, “WTF?”. One minute she was angry and then she was so happy. Autumn continued drinking the entire time and when Sharon and I went to the bathroom Sharon said to me, “The green eyed monster is here” and I said, “I can’t believe she snapped at you”. Autumn is also anti-smoking and hates anybody smoking near her. I don’t smoke but Sharon does. Jack started smoking and so did Sharon (we were sitting outside) and I was surprised that Autumn didn’t light up a cigarette and start smoking. Autumn would always complain about people smoking but because Jack was smoking she didn’t have a problem with it. I let Jack’s brother feel my bracelet because it was all different shapes (he can’t see) and he said he liked it. Autumn snapped at me and said, “I don’t like it, it’s ugly” – that was the only time that Autumn had a go at me that day. Later on that night we were in bathroom and doing our make up near the mirrors (that sort of thing that us girls do) and Autumn confessed to us that she liked Jack which we could’ve easily guessed.

Jack and his brother went home and we left to go home, on the way home Autumn told us that she believed Jack liked her in the romantic sense; it wasn’t something he said, she said it was because of his body language. She said he must like her romantically because he had turned up to her birthday. She also said that he had been giving her romantic signals all day. Autumn got off the train first and Sharon and I remained on the train to head to our station. Sharon asked me if I noticed Jack giving Autumn any romantic signals, I said, “Beats me, I didn’t notice anything”. It was nice that he attended her birthday gathering, however, I don’t know if it means a guy likes you if he attends your birthday. I’ve had plenty of birthdays and gatherings when my male friends have turned up and I never assumed they turned up because they were in love with me.

When I got home I logged online and Autumn was on Facebook and was telling me that she was talking to Jack online (on Skype or something like that) so I just did my own thing and logged off. Sharon later said to Autumn that she didn’t understand why Jack seemed so normal even though Autumn had described him so differently, Autumn said it was because “He only behaves nice like that when he is around his brother. He’s not usually like that”.

Sharon and Autumn’s birthdays are only days apart and Sharon organized us to go to the club to see a dance music artist perform. Autumn and I had dinner at an Italian restaurant and Autumn was in a terrible mood. She wouldn’t tell me what was wrong and I attempted to cheer her up to no avail. After dinner we waited for Sharon and Keith and when Sharon turned up, Autumn was still in a cranky mood. When Autumn went to use the restroom, Sharon remarked how she noticed that Autumn was in a bad mood and I told Sharon that I didn’t know why and she wouldn’t tell me. When we went to watch the dance music artist perform Autumn continued to remain in a negative mood and just sat there all night sipping on her Coca-Cola (she was once again a non-drinker). Sharon said to her, “Autumn, we had fun on your birthday so I want you to have fun on birthday” and Autumn just mumbled something back. I assumed Sharon had told Keith about how Autumn liked Jack because he asked Autumn, “Who’s this guy you’re into?”, and Autumn just waved her hand in their air and fobbed him off and said, “I’m not into him all right!”. Sharon asked her, “What changed your mind?” and Autumn got out of her seat and leaned over the table and whispered something into Sharon’s ear. I didn’t know what she said because when she got up to lean over she nearly knocked over my Jack Daniels and coke with her boobs and I had to catch my glass (Jack Daniel’s isn’t cheap) I said, “Watch your boobs Autumn”. I didn’t know what Autumn said but she obviously didn’t want me to hear it and the next time I caught up with Sharon I asked her and Sharon said she had forgotten. Sharon and I attempted to have fun but it was difficult due to the atmosphere, but regardless we did enjoy the music artists we watched perform and Autumn said she enjoyed them as well. Autumn did relax after a while she was holding up her phone and recording it.

It wasn’t that long after this when Jack sent me a PM saying he was attending a music festival and asked me if I was going as well. I told him I couldn’t go because I was trying to save my money and because of that I wasn’t financially able to go (I was attempting to save up so I could move out and get away from my mother and her boyfriend). Jack was okay about it when I replied but after this he started acting like a total asshole towards me.

It wasn’t long after that, that Jack attacked me because I didn’t hold the same conspiracy theories as he had. Jack was into a lot of different conspiracy theories. He believed Martin Bryant was innocent and he told me to read a particular book, and wouldn’t explain to me why he believed Bryant was innocent when I asked. He told me to read the book and believe what the book says. If he wants to believe in them that’s fine but I don’t have to believe in them. He was adamant that I should agree with him. I’ve dealt with people like this before, they have an opinion on something and they want you to agree with them and if you don’t they go crazy ass on you until you do agree with them. I just said I didn’t believe it and I just left it at that. He wasn’t happy about it, he just has to deal with the fact that people have different opinions. I remember Autumn told me that Jack had attacked her online for not having the same opinion as him. After this “conspiracy theory” situation, Jack wasn’t happy with me but he was cool afterwards, he said, “It was just a disagreement”.

               People started making comments about how Autumn was changing. Mum said to me, “You know Autumn is trying to copy you don’t you?” and I said, “No, I haven’t noticed.” I knew on her birthday she was acting different, but I knew she wanted to impress him. A couple of other people had told me something similar, one night we went out and Keith and Sharon said the same thing to me. I knew Autumn was making a few changes to herself at the time like her personality changed a bit and changing her look a bit, but I think that was because she wanted a boyfriend and she liked Jack (even though she said she was no longer into him). She wore flat shoes her entire life and never wore high heels and then she started wearing them (the poor girl could barely walk in them). She told us that she had always had worn high heels, even though that isn’t true. One night she turned up with a bag that was near identical to mine and Sharon said to me, “her bag looks like yours” and I said to Autumn, “I like your bag” and we both just laughed. Autumn hated dogs and would scream, “I’m not a dog person”. When she found out Jack had a dog – she all of a sudden had a love for dogs. The only animals Autumn loved was koalas who she called her “friends”. One weekend I went shopping and bought stuff and wrote online what I bought and I mentioned that I bought new high heel shoes and I wrote, “I can’t wait to wear these sexy bitches out” and Jack LIKED it and I assumed Autumn noticed this because that same week she went shopping and bought new high heel shoes and wrote practically the same thing as me and attached a photo of them. Even though Autumn hated alcohol and would put people down for drinking even a glass of alcohol, she started writing on Facebook, “Who wants to buy me a drink?” and I wrote in her comments, “You like drinking now?” and she wrote, “I’ve always drank alcohol”, I didn’t reply, I knew it was about Jack.  

Even though Sharon and I believed Autumn still liked Jack, on my birthday Autumn told me that she didn’t like Jack because he was a “pig”, a “drunk” and a “druggy”. She criticised him for drinking after one of his family members had died and she thought that was disgusting, and I said, “People deal with death in different ways”. Autumn told me that Jack told her that he wasn’t interested in her in that way and he liked her as a friend. We didn’t talk much about Jack that day, we just spent the day hanging out and doing stuff in the city (we didn’t drink that day).

Autumn told me that her birthday fell on a Saturday ever year and I said to her, “it can’t fall on a Saturday every year” and she said, “It does” and she couldn’t understand why I was laughing.

               I made this group on Facebook, it wasn’t good, and it was just an entertainment group because I’m into movies and music and all of that. Jack joined and Autumn must have noticed because she made a group not long after and she posted the link onto her Facebook feed and wrote, “Well Jack I have a group as well if you’re interested in joining.” That was funny.

                One night Autumn, my dad and I were chatting on MSN Messenger and Autumn was putting me down because I was slim and I liked to eat healthy food. She wasn’t the first person to put me down for eating healthy and being slim – some people love hating on me because of that (I don’t know why). I don’t understand why people felt the need to hate on me because I liked being some-what healthy (I’m not even that healthy to be quite honest) I just like eating salad. Autumn wrote this  joke on her Facebook wall and I wrote, “Groan LOL” and she got angry with me and wrote, “You wouldn’t think it was funny would you, you shrivelled up prawn”. My mum noticed what Autumn had written to me online and said to me, “Once a bitch always a bitch” (about Autumn). She started putting me down for being single and wrote on my Facebook, “How come I never see you picking up?” which was a comment which came out of nowhere nothing provoked it. I thought it was unusual for her to criticize me about being single because she had always been single. She then wrote something negative about the way I looked and I wrote, “How would you like it if I said something about the way you looked?” and she didn’t reply and just ignored me. Even though she was acting like a total dick around this time I maintained my cool in the face of it. I’m usually pretty chilled-out most of the time or I laugh things off. If something isn’t a big deal I don’t let it affect me too much.

               Katie’s birthday is at Christmas so I decided to have a catch up with my friends just before Christmas and give them gifts (I like giving people gifts) and to see Katie for her birthday. I had this catch up at the same club that Ryan worked at and Autumn had noticed one of the men working there and she said, “I remember him. He’s been working here for years; he was even working here when I used to come here all the time.” Autumn and I were there before the other two turned up, and I mentioned to Autumn that I told everyone that they could bring a friend with them if they wanted. Autumn said, “Does Katie even have any friends? I mean she’s so boring who would want to be her friend?” and I told Autumn, “I want to be her friend” and I said, “I thought she might bring her Aunty along” because I knew Katie and her aunty were close. I thought that was the reason why Katie was late but it was really because she went to the wrong door. Katie turned up and then we had to wait for Sharon because Sharon is late to everything. When Sharon arrived she and I went to the bar to get a drink because we both like drinking (alcohol), Katie doesn’t drink and Autumn didn’t drink alcohol that day. Katie and Sharon are both talkaholics and Katie was talking to Autumn was just ignoring and it was so obvious and I said to Autumn, “Don’t do that” and she said, “What?” and she just started laughing and I shook my head. Autumn was wearing her high heel shoes and kept playing with them all the time and had problems walking in them. We went to the restaurant and I let Autumn order first because she said she was hungry. Autumn went up to the server and said, “I want food samples of all the meals because I want to taste them all before I order”, I was standing right next to her when she said this and I was thinking, “WTF, food samples?” and I looked at Sharon and Katie and they were confused as well. I’ve been in cafes and restaurants before and I’ve worked in the hospitality industry and I don’t recall one time a customer ever asking for food samples. I’ve been to cafés and restaurants with Autumn plenty of times before and I’ve never heard her ask this before. It was slightly bizarre but I just laughed because I thought it was slightly funny (and I generally laugh at most things). The lady serving her said, “We don’t do that” and I thought maybe Autumn was getting confused with supermarkets because I know they occasionally hand out food samples to promote new food products. During lunch Autumn started talking about me and my love life (even though my love life was non-existent) and she started making all these random comments and said to me, “You can have any man you want” and she said, “You have a line of men after you”, and I was like, “really” and I turned around to look behind me and I said as a joke, “Oh yeah, a long line of men after me” and I just laughed. After lunch we were sitting in the lounge, we weren’t listening to music because unfortunately that club prefers people to listen pokies. Sharon was talking to Autumn about something and I heard Autumn telling her that she was no longer interested in Jack. Autumn mentioned she had been talking to a few guys online. I’m an introvert so I find it hard to talk to people whether it’s online or in real life, I don’t know what to say so I’m just extremely awkward around people. I’ve never used PM or a chat room to chat to men before and I don’t think I would be even good at it which is why I never use online dating – the whole dating and picking up guys thing is just awkward for me which might be one of the reasons why I’m single. I knew Autumn chatted to men online a fair bit so out of curiosity I asked her, “What do you talk to these men about?” and she said, “I don’t tell them much at all. Nothing private, I never flirt with them. We just talk about general things.” Katie heard Autumn and Sharon talking about Jack and she said, “Who’s Jack?” Katie rarely sees or talks to us and she doesn’t use Facebook or anything like that so she’s out of the loop most of the time. When Katie asked us who Jack was, Autumn turned to her and said, “Oh he’s a big drug-o”. Autumn then turned to me and said, “You should ask men out. I’ve asked three different men out recently” and I asked, “and how is that working for you?” and she said, “Well it hasn’t, but that’s just me. It might be different for you.”

Autumn then had a go at me for saying “hello” to her brother’s girlfriend. I wasn’t a fan of her brother at this point because I knew he was interested in children and Autumn told me that his girlfriend was okay with it because she wanted his money. I was shopping one day and saw his girlfriend and she was waving hello to and I did a little wave back. Autumn loves her brother but she hates his girlfriend, she started criticising her and said that she was just using her brother for his money. I don’t really have anything much to do with Autumn’s brother or his girlfriend so I didn’t know much about her but I did recall she was doing a course and I said to Autumn, “Isn’t she doing a course to help her get work? “ and Autumn said, “Yes, but you watch, she won’t get a job. She’s just doing it to fool people. She’s using him for his money”.

We were at the club for a while but Katie was the first to leave because said she said she wanted to go home to watch something on television. Autumn told me she had to go early because Jack got a new phone and she wanted to go to the Apple store to get the same as his. So Autumn ran off early and then it was just Sharon and I remaining and we decided to go home as well not long after. This was the last occasion that I actually hung out with Autumn.

               Autumn continued writing random stuff online to get Jacks attention. She wrote, “I need some drugs, I need some drugs. Does anybody have any drugs?” A few nights later she wrote a complaint on her Facebook wall that men don’t reply to her messages. Sharon asked her who she was referring to and Autumn told Sharon that she wasn’t talking about Jack but someone else. However, under Autumn’s comment Jack replied to her and wrote, “You’re talking about me aren’t you? I didn’t reply to your message yesterday because I was at a piss up.” Sharon sent me a message and wrote, “I knew it was about him”.

Autumn had this group that she made and had added a few people in it, however Jack wasn’t a member in there, I don’t know why. Most of the people in there were Autumn’s Facebook friends who didn’t know me or Sharon. She started making critical remarks about somebody but wasn’t using their name. Sharon noticed a lot of what Autumn was posting into this group and would write to me, because I wasn’t paying attention. Even though Sharon was a member in the group she never commented on anything Autumn had written. I would sometimes go into Autumn’s group to have a quick looky looky and I noticed Autumn had been writing some weird shit in there but Autumn was behaving odd during this time so I wasn’t surprised. I never commented on anything Autumn was writing in her group and decided to turn off the notifications in the group so I would see less of it because Group posts were swamping my feed. Sharon sent me an update of what Autumn had posted in her group, Autumn had written, “I’ve always been myself and I am not changing myself. And if I am changing myself I am doing it to be better. I am doing it so people will like me more”. Autumn must have realised that I didn’t reply or interact with what she was posting in her group and became frustrated as a result. She was just always bitching about someone, not sure who it was about, but I think it was about myself, Sharon or someone else - who knows, but I didn’t understand what she was writing, which made it hard to reply. 

I was watching The Project on Channel 10 and they had this bizarre news story about how people were eating a type of mushroom and dying from it, I wrote under a post about it “be careful of mushrooms people”. Some of my FB friends commented back about it and I replied, “Was that drug popular in the 80s?” and Jack became aggressive and wrote in capital letters, ‘SHUT THE FUCK UP IF YOU FUCKING DON’T KNOW WHAT YOU RE TALKING ABOUT YOU FUCKING IDIOT”. One Facebook friend said he was being rude and another said he was being aggressive and abusive. Another Facebook friend PM messaged me and wrote, “I know he is your friend but the way he is speaking to you is unacceptable. I’m worried about you with this person” and she told me that, “all the signs are there”. I was going to delete Jack as a friend at that time but I was problems at home, and he was the last thing on my mind. I knew what Autumn told me about him, so he was just living up to his reputation.

The Office (US) is one of my favourite shows of all-time and I just love it. I was watching the episode when Michael Scott left. This was the first time I had seen it. I was nearly in tears watching Michael Scott leaving and I wrote about it on my FB wall. A few people commented and agreed with me. Autumn had this Facebook friend from Canada who was also on my Facebook friends list and he was a cat lover and I’m a cat lover and we have that in common. Even though I had just watched the episode of Michael Scott leaving, I was a bit behind and he had seen the new episodes that Michael Scott was no longer in (the new season). He commented on the new episodes and Jack wrote to him, “THAT IS BECAUSE YOU’RE JUST A KNOB”. I wrote, “Don’t talk to people like that” and he wrote and said, “You’re an idiot and stupid”. Jack called me a bogan once because I was living in Emu Plains, and my friend told me to give him a piece of his own medicine, so I said, ‘You’re acting like a bogan’ and he called me a ‘bitch’ and then disappeared, and me and my friend laughed because he couldn’t take it back. These events took place at similar time frame, which is why I hadn’t deleted him at this point, but I was warming to it. But my mum’s poor internet service only gave me a small time frame to be able to do what I wanted to do online and jump off again. I didn’t want to waste that small time frame on Jack. I got hobbies and stuff.

                It was a day or so after this that Jack went out drinking in Sydney and I knew this because he was posting about it on his Facebook feed for most of the day. I assumed that night that Autumn had been interacting with Jack because that afternoon/early night time they both started trolling on my Facebook feed. They must have been chatting on Skype because Jack took a photo of Autumn on Skype flipping the bird and he posted it onto his wall and tagged me on it for me to see. They also wrote all these comments on my Facebook wall, mainly calling me fat and ugly. I wasn’t fat at this time, I was around 40 to 45kg which isn’t fat and I was skinnier than the both of them. Whether I am ugly or not is debatable but I know they weren’t going to win any beauty competitions. Usually when people insult me or want to put me down they usually go straight to the way I look because that’s all they have over me. Common insults from common people.

It was only recently that I had been watching The Block (an Australian renovation TV program) when one of the girls on the show said something like, ‘Dibby dibby dobber” which I found funny and I wrote that on my Facebook wall and my Facebook friends from Australia knew what I was talking about because The Block was popular. They just laughed under the comment and no one was offended. However when Jack and Autumn was trolling on my wall, Jack was writing DIBBY DIBBY DOBBER all over my wall. I didn’t really let anything they wrote on my wall get to me because it was just some silly quote from a reality TV show. Jack was doing most of the criticizing on my wall but he was probably so drunk and full of drugs he didn’t know what he was doing and probably didn’t care. He also wrote, MY SISTER IS SO SWEET, which is something I said about Autumn on her birthday. I guess they couldn’t find anything negative to slander me about so they were just talking shit.

               I didn’t even bother replying back to them. I just thought, “fuck this” and just blocked them. I haven’t heard from them since.

There were people online who did notice Autumns photo and Jack’s trolling and some of my friends wrote … “Rude” and other comments similar.

                 Even though I had blocked both, Sharon still had Autumn online and was watching everything Autumn was posting. Usually I would rarely hear from Sharon, she would go months and months without speaking to me. However, during this time Sharon was interacting with me the most and Sharon became extremely invested in what Autumn was doing. Sharon was probably sitting back eating popcorn. Sharon told me that Autumn was writing bitchy comments about me online in her group and also on her wall. She told me what Autumn was posting online was immature. After a while I asked Sharon to stop telling me everything Autumn was posting because it was just doing my head in. If Autumn wanted to hate on me, she can go ahead, that’s her choice. If she wants to talk shit about me on her Facebook, it’s a free world, freedom of speech and all of that. She can do whatever she wants, that’s her choice but it’s my choice not to get involved with bullshit.

The day after they both trolled my wall, Sharon told me that Autumn wrote on her Facebook wall, “Isn’t it mean that my friend called my partner a bogan?” I asked Sharon, “Did Autumn mention that Jack called me a bogan first” and she told me that she didn’t and I wrote, “Well that’s convenient”. Sharon also told me that Autumn was online and continued to refer to Jack as her partner which Sharon thought was hilarious. Sharon didn’t believe that Jack was her boyfriend and even I had doubts about this myself. Sharon also told me that Autumn was writing on her Facebook that I was a bitch, which didn’t surprise me at all. I don’t have a problem with people calling me a bitch; I just wish these weak-minded fools would have a reason of substance to back that ‘bitch’ claim. Sharon later told me that Autumn wasn’t in a relationship with Jack and said, “But we already knew that”. Sharon is known to lurk on Facebook but she never indicates she is online. Autumn knew that about Sharon so she must have been suspicious which is why she ended up deleting Sharon as a friend from her Facebook.

               A few years later my Mum bumped into Autumn and Autumn was with her boyfriend (it wasn’t Jack). Autumn went up to my mum and introduced her boyfriend to her. Mum told me he was unattractive and had no teeth and she said, “She’s not going to get her good looking baby from him.” I asked mum, “Is he a bus driver?” and laughed, and mum said she didn’t know. The reason why I asked mum if he was a bus driver is because Autumn had a history of picking up bus drivers.

               My Dad is no longer with Autumn’s mother which is probably a good thing as I don’t want any link to Autumn or her brother.

               One of the reasons why I stopped associating with Autumn, the other reason was because of her brother – but I’m going to have to post that one separately because otherwise this will be too long.