BLOW UP THE POKIES

 BLOW UP THE POKIES

In America pokies are called slot machines, in Australia, they are called poker machines “pokies”. I’ve never been a fan of gambling and one of my least favourite things is pokies. I hate hanging around clubs that have a lot of pokies. I hate casinos and I never wanted to go to Las Vegas.

               When I go out, I like to go out to socialize, chat, catch up, have a laugh, sit in comfortable seats, in comfortable warm temperatures, listen to music, drink, and preferably have a nice view. That’s what socialising is to me.

               I don’t recall when I started disliking pokies; I don’t think my hatred of pokies stems from Sharon and Keith, who play them all the time. I think I started disliking them when I started going out to nightclubs when I was around 20 years old. When I go out the last thing I want to do is play pokies or hang around pokies. If I ever did play pokies it would be for about 1 or 2 minutes and I would lose interest and then walk away. After my 21st birthday party, I went to Panthers nightclub to go to Reactor 1. Before we went home I decided to put money into a pokie machine and I won a lot of money, beginner's luck – I won straight away. I took the money and went home – I have rarely played pokies ever since. I probably can count about 3 times in my life that I’ve played pokies and when I have it was for less than 5 minutes. They just don’t hold my interest long enough and I don’t find them stimulating. I need to be brain-dead to be able to play those things.

               I’ve known people who loved playing pokies, perhaps not addicted, but close to it. Claire and Gary would spend all night playing pokies together. I don’t recall Claire enjoying playing pokies before she started going out with Gary, she never seemed to take any interest in them previously. When Claire stopped associating with Autumn and I, people I knew would see Claire and Gary at the RSL club (or Panthers) playing pokies. Claire and Gary would sit separately wouldn’t talk to each other and always looked gloomy. Playing poker isn’t something that would make you look happy.

                Keith plays pokies all the time and Sharon would only play if Keith was there playing them. Before Sharon was in a relationship with Keith, she never played pokies, and if she did it was on a very rare occasion. Keith’s friends are all into playing pokies, especially Craig and his partner.

One NYE Gary was playing pokies at Panthers Leagues Club and I remember that night it was packed full of people. He lost his wallet in the pokies section. Fortunately for him, someone handed his wallet in and it still had all his money in it, he was extremely lucky. It’s nice to know there are still a lot of honest and trustworthy people out there.

               One weekend Claire wanted us to go to the Casino in the city, so Keith, Sharon, Gary, Autumn went. We went to an all-you-can-eat buffet restaurant which was good, that was the only part of the casino I liked. I remember Sharon was attempting to get corn off her corn cob because she doesn’t eat it straight from the cob. She accidentally flicked the corn cob and the corn cob flew through the air to the other side of the table. That was the highlight of the night for me. We did a little bit of gambling that night but in all honesty, I was bored, it wasn’t a fun or entertaining atmosphere. Nobody there looked happy; the atmosphere was unstimulating and dull. I haven’t been to the casino since.

               Claire and Gary play pokies a lot but they generally only do so when they aren’t in a social situation. They wouldn’t play them when they went out with their friends (Autumn and I etc.) which is one of the things that I liked and respected about them. If they were on their own, just the two of them they would sit at the club all night playing, but if they were out with friends they wouldn’t do it and if they did it wouldn’t be for long.

               Keith and Sharon, it was a whole different ball game. It didn’t matter if it was my birthday, or whatever event it was. Keith always wanted to go somewhere where there were pokies and it didn’t matter if it was a birthday celebration or NYE, those two would always be sitting playing pokies.

There were times when I had other friends with me so it wasn’t so bad, if I had a friend with me we could just leave them at the pokies and do our own thing. What I didn’t understand, what’s the point of them going out with us to socialise and catch up with us, when they didn’t actually do that at all? Instead, they sat at pokies all day/night. This is what annoyed me about making arrangements with Sharon to go out and see her, when she did go out she was usually with Keith (her boyfriend) and Keith just wanted to sit playing pokies all the time and Sharon would always want to be around him. I just felt like I wasted my time just to be sitting at a pokie all night. Sharon would expect us to stand behind her and Keith and talk to them while looking at the back of their heads. It was extremely difficult when I was alone with Sharon and Keith because I would have no choice but to sit with them and watch them play pokies all night. I did bring the subject up to Sharon numerous times and I would let her know that if we catch up, I didn’t want to be around pokies all night. Sometimes I would just leave early and I would think to myself, it was completely pointless doing my hair, my face, dressing up, and spending money going out just to sit and watch them play pokies. Most of the time I just went home early, I would tell Sharon I was going home, and she would whine, “You’re not going home yet are you?” I was always honest with her, I would say to her, “Well you guys are just going to sit playing pokies all night and I don’t want to sit in front of a pokie all night”, and she would say, “We will just play a few more games, I promise”,  however even if I did stay, a few more games meant a few more hours. I would just sit there and think I wish I was somewhere else, having fun, with friends who wanted to socialise with me and have a good time. Sometimes I would sit there and think I would rather be at home right now reading, writing or watching a movie. When I’m in an uncomfortable or depressing situation I would just start daydreaming or wishing for something else.

Regardless if I was on my own or I was with a group of friends, Keith and Sharon would always be sitting at the pokies and playing them. My friends all hated Sharon and Keith playing pokies as well. Every time we made arrangements to go out, one of my friends (or all of them) would complain or comment about how Sharon and Keith sat at the pokies all night. Everyone thought their behaviour was incredibly rude.

It wasn’t so much they were playing pokies it was more their expectation that we had to talk to them whilst they were playing pokies. Sharon had the expectation that we should all be standing behind them, looking at the back of their heads just to be able to catch up with them and this pissed us all off. When we told Sharon that we want to talk to her and spend time with her, she would say, “Well you can talk to us here”. We were all very forward with Sharon and Keith about our feelings about not wanting to catch up with them at the pokies, but regardless of how many times we said it, they would say, “Okay we won’t play pokies” but they would, if they said they would play them just for “5 minutes” that 5 minutes would mean 5 hours.

               When I go out with friends to catch up with them, I like to see them (and their faces), spend time with them, talk to them, have some laughs, listen to music, drink, and have fun. The only way that any of us could catch up with Sharon or Keith was to stand behind them when they were pressing buttons on the pokies and they would talk to us without even turning their heads.

If Sharon and Keith were playing pokies for 10 minutes or something like that, none of us would have cared but it was never like that. We just never understood why they wanted to go out with us on our birthday or any other social situation just to spend the night playing pokies, they didn’t seem to really want to “spend the night socialising with their friends”. They could’ve played pokies any other time.

               When I celebrate my birthday I would have some friends over for drinks and music or we would go to the city, of Sydney for some drinks at an outdoor bar or something like that. I know there are pokies in the city but there seems to be a better quality of places you can go in the city where you drink and socialise and have fun, where there is more entertainment and a better atmosphere and you aren’t surrounded by pokies. Usually after a party or something else, we would go to Panthers afterward but that was mainly only because they were the only place open in Penrith and there wasn’t a selection of decent places for us to choose from to go locally. However when you are living in Penrith and you want to go out to socialise, traveling an hour or more is difficult for most people, so you have to compromise and go somewhere in Penrith instead. That’s the problem with Penrith, you want to go out locally and not travel too far, but there aren’t many decent places to go locally.

               When Sharon was out without Keith, she wouldn’t play pokies and she had no desire to.

               Every time I made arrangements for us friends to catch up (or something like that) I would always say to Sharon, “If you want to go out, I don’t mind but I don’t want to be sitting around watching you two playing pokies all night” Sharon would be agreeable with what I said and she said “no, no, we won’t”, but I came to learn that I couldn’t trust Sharon’s word. Her actions contradicted her words.

Sharon and Keith at first would meet up with us, and usually they were always late so they would make us wait for them to turn up for about an hour or two (and sometimes more than 2 hours) which was annoying enough. Sharon has been late to everything her entire life but she always puts the blame on somebody else or something else and never takes responsibility. Sharon and Keith would sit down with us and get a drink and we would talk for a few minutes, but it wouldn’t be long until they were sitting at a pokie and expecting us to stand there behind them.  

                There were times we would go out and Sharon and Keith first would sit down at the table with us with a drink and we would start talking, and Keith would turn to Sharon and tell her “I have to get a drink” or “I have to go to the toilet’,  sometimes he would ask if any of us wanted a drink and we would hand him money for him to get a drink for us, and he wouldn’t return with our drink, he would disappear. Keith usually would make an excuse to get away from Sharon so he could play pokies without her, as soon as he left the table he would usually turn off his phone so Sharon wouldn’t be able to contact him. If Keith was away from Sharon even for a second she would ring him up over and over again, panicking because he wasn’t with her. This is a normal scenario with these two.  If Keith was gone for 10 or 15 minutes she would start calling him up and start wondering where he was, and my friends would just say to her, “He’s playing pokies”; it’s not like it was a secret or anything, we all knew what he was doing. Sharon would try to ring him over and over again, she would ring him about 20 times or more, if he turned on his phone again and she was able to reach him, she would start asking him questions such as “Where are you?” and “When are you coming back?”.

                If he left his phone turned off (which he usually did) and she couldn’t reach him, she would expect us to go looking for him because she didn’t want to be anywhere without him and she didn’t want to walk around and look for him by herself. He was only gone for half an hour or an hour, but Sharon couldn’t function even for an hour or more without Keith and if she wasn’t with Keith she would be talking on the phone with Keith. I don’t know what that was all about but that’s the way it was every time I caught up with her. I have friends who have partners and they can function pretty well without seeing or hearing from their partner for a reasonable amount of time.

                Sharon expected me and my friends to walk around the entire Panther’s Leagues Club to find Keith because she didn’t want to look for him alone. She would make us walk around every single pokie trying to find Keith. It reminded me of those “Where’s Wally?” books, you know where you have to find Wally. Well that’s how it was when I was out with Sharon and Keith, it was like, “Where’s Keith?” and we would have to look around forever around all these pokies trying to find where Keith was. I don’t know why we were trying to find Keith, we all knew he was at a pokie somewhere and he would appear again eventually. Sharon would always get out of her seat and tell me, “I have to go find him”.

                Have you ever been to the Panthers Leagues Club? Have you seen how many pokies are in that club? We would have to walk around all those fucking pokies, and there are a fucking lot of them and we would do that until we found him. This happened pretty much every single time I went to the club with them, whether I was alone or not.

                Sharon didn’t have a gambling addiction or anything like that she just seemed to do whatever Keith wanted to do because she didn’t want to be away from him. We knew Sharon didn’t have a problem with gambling, I think her addiction was with Keith.

                On my birthday we went to have dinner at an all-you-can-eat buffet and Keith paid $22 to eat there, he got a plate of food, ate a couple of mouthful and he told Sharon he had to make a phone call and ran out of the restaurant and we found him afterward playing pokies.

Even though Sharon knew Keith may have had a problem she would sit next to him and keep handing him money all night out of her purse so he could continue playing pokies all night and sometimes they would be there until 6am the next morning. I don’t know how much they would put in the pokies in one night but it would have been a lot of money. If she didn’t want him playing pokies, I don’t understand why she would be giving him all that money from her purse for him to play pokies and I also don’t understand why she would sit next to him and play pokies with him.

                I did address the issue once with Sharon about Keith playing pokies, I said, “I think Keith may have a gambling problem and may need help” and Sharon said back to me “No, he doesn’t” and she said, “Even if he did there’s nothing I can do about it”. I feel like he had a problem and she was going along with it. Sharon would say to me (as they were playing pokies) “Keith doesn’t play pokies as much as he used to”. I didn’t bring up the subject again, it’s none of my business if he has an addiction or not. However, I did feel it was my business somewhat because every time Sharon wanted to catch up with me and invited me out, she would bring Keith with her and they would expect me (and my friend/s) to hang out with them at the pokies all night. So instead of spending time with Sharon I would wander off with a friend or I would go home early. I just got sick of her saying one thing and doing the other. I stopped going out with them after that.

                There are people who would insult or be cruel to people who do have addictions, I think it’s a bad form to treat someone like that whether they have an addiction. There’s people who imply that someone has an addiction to something when they actually don’t. It’s bullying and abuse. I personally believe that everyone has an addiction of some kind, we are all obsessed with something, and some people are addicted to the obvious: drugs, alcohol, smoking cigarettes, gambling, or junk food. Some people are addicted to other random things, which may not affect their health, but an addiction nevertheless.

                My addiction books, I go to the library and get about 20 books out at a time, and I always find second-hand books to buy as well (and on the rare occasion brand new books). I just can’t get my hands on enough books. Carrying them home has fucked up my body a bit I do read a lot, so it’s not like I’m buying them for no reason, I do get a lot out of them and I usually buy non-fiction books (not fiction books) so I’m learning a lot in the process. I’ve probably learned more from books than I ever did from all those years I went to school. I got this pile, it’s called ‘Books I have to read’, I’m almost certain that when I die the majority of those books will still be sitting there. The worst part about having a book addiction is when you move (move house), it’s not the furniture that is the problem, it’s my book collection, books are heavy. It’s a pain in the ass, but I can’t bring myself to get rid of them. I admit I’m a book hoarder, and when I die it could be due to having too many books, they might all fall on top of me one day and I will be underneath them dead. I’m pretty honest about my book addiction, I tell people that I have an addiction to books, and my mum says, “There are worse things to be addicted to.” Sharon told me once, “Just get rid of them all”, and I said, “You can’t just get rid of books” she doesn’t understand books like I do. If I ever get my own house one day, I want my own study with a library that has all of these shelves around me so I can put all my books on them; that is my goal in life.

                I was watching the TV program Grand Designs (the English one) and in one of the houses this guy built himself a study with books all around him, this was my dream study. I was completely envious of him, and I don’t get envious that often.

We are all addicted to something and that’s why I don’t like to judge people harshly – we all have a habit that probably isn’t so good for us.

                I personally believe one of the main reasons why people become addicted to pokies and obviously they do it because they want to win the jackpot, however, I don’t think it’s entirely about that. It may have something to do with boredom and they have nothing else to do. It’s not like bars or pubs have much to offer in the way in entertainment (especially in Penrith). I believe a lot of people get addicted to something like drugs and alcohol because they want to have fun and it relaxes them and it gives them a good feeling. However, if you get addicted to alcohol or drugs, it’s not going to give you a good or fun feeling if you are doing it all the time, that’s when it starts getting messy. When it comes to people who have addictions like gambling etc. I do think it could be due to them having a problem in their life, maybe they have lost their job, they are homeless, they are lonely, they’ve gone through some tough shit in life, or they don’t feel like they are going to have a good future, maybe they just broke up with their partner, or maybe they are stuck in an unhappy marriage. They use addictions to fill up a void that’s inside of them, they feel empty inside and they use addictions to escape reality. They use an addiction to distract them from the real issue that they are trying to avoid. They use the addiction the same way some people use religion, it gives them a feeling of comfort and escape.

               I eventually stopped hanging out with Sharon and Keith for a variety of different reasons, of course, I wasn’t going to spend the rest of my life socialising with Sharon standing behind her playing a pokie machine. The one thing I won’t miss about Sharon and Keith (apart from the emotional abuse and narcissism) is standing around them at the pokies, I certainly won’t miss that. When you go out with your friends it’s all about compromise and everyone in the group should be doing something that they all mutually like, you can’t just tolerate something you don’t like to keep another person happy. I just felt like because I didn’t like tolerating Keith’s emotional abuse towards me, Sharon’s attitude was: “Nice knowing you, good riddance”, she didn’t say that, but her actions did. After I stopped associating with Keith, I heard from Sharon even less and after a while, I stopped hearing from her completely.

My mother used to play pokies a lot but she eventually stopped which was good, she couldn’t afford to keep doing it. She used to spend money playing Keno but she only does it for fun now. Some of my aunties like playing pokies and I remember my nanna used to love playing pokies as well.

                Judy plays pokies but if she does she only plays them for about 5 to 10 minutes when we are out and then she finishes playing them and then walks away. 95% of the time when I’ve been out with Judy she doesn’t play pokies. When she does play pokies it doesn’t bother me at all because I know she won’t be sitting on them all night.

                Melissa, Autumn, and Katie never played pokies. I can’t even imagine Katie being anywhere near pokies. I don’t think Katie even knows about Sharon and Keith playing pokies. Autumn hated pokies and Melissa preferred not to use them. 

I think most of the people I have known who liked pokies were all associated with Keith.

               I just find playing pokies when you are out with friends or family is so anti-social, it’s not socialising at all. It’s strange that pokies are so anti-social but they put them into an environment where people go to be social, it’s extremely contradictive. I hate walking into a club or bar and seeing and hearing pokies. It would be nice to have more bars and clubs around that care more about entertainment and comfortable social settings rather than pokies, however, I get it, they make most of their money from pokies. It’s all about money.

                I don’t believe in banning pokies, because I hate people being told what they can and cannot do. If someone wants to spend all their money to buy cigarettes, alcohol or play pokies that’s their choice and I don’t think anyone should force them to stop; that’s their choice, not anybody else’s. I’m not into people being controlled or told what they can and cannot do. However, I just think they should put pokies in one area, maybe in a building somewhere and all the pokie lovers should go there and play them and leave other places free of pokies. They even have pokies outside now, so the smokers can play them outdoors. It won’t be long until Panthers will have pokies in the toilets so you can play them when you are peeing; Gross, that won’t be hygienic. Whenever I’m around pokies, I just look at the buttons and think, “How often are those things cleaned?” Imagine all the germs on them, people who play pokies should carry around sanitizer, who knows what is on those buttons.

Sometimes Judy and I go to the club and play raffles, and that is gambling a bit. I won’t spend any more than $10 when I go with her and usually I am pretty lucky most of the time. I just go out to have fun, I don’t expect to win. However, when we are at raffles, I see people with hundreds of dollars’ worth of tickets. Even though I spend the least amount of money on raffle tickets, I’ve won the jackpot a few times. I don’t win every time, but I’ve won enough times to be satisfied. I do pretty well for $10. I don’t really go down there to gamble, I’m mainly there to catch up with Judy and we both mutually like playing raffles. I’m just there to have a night out and enjoy myself; if I win it’s just a bonus.

                Instead of putting money into pokies all the time, they should put that same amount of money into a money box and open it in 5-years-time, there’s your jackpot. I just think there are so many adults who aren’t mature enough to take responsibility and they just go overboard because they have no self-control.

                Whenever I walk into the Penrith RSL Club or Panthers League’s Club and look around at the people playing pokies around me, they just remind me of zombies. Old people today are always complaining about the younger generation looking at their phone screens, however the oldies are staring at a pokie machine screen. If there was a zombie apocalypse I hope they attack the people playing pokies first. It might actually get them away from the pokies to do something else besides playing pokies. Then they will have a new addiction, biting people.

                I really do think you can’t be too intelligent or interesting to play pokies for a long time, I’m not a smart person, but I need stimulation and that’s the main reason why I can’t play pokies. Pokies aren’t interesting or entertaining. Pokies are so fucking boring and there’s no challenge involved, they are all computerised, and you don’t need any intellectual skill in order to win, it’s just a game of chance, and chances are you are going to lose. That’s why I find them so dull.